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User Topic: Have to give up adopted dog -- sobbing
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We adopted a rescue dog about a month ago. She's beautiful and loving. BUT... she was turning increasingly difficult to handle out of the house, and increasingly hostile to people we brought into the house. I would walk her and she would lunge and snap at people. We got training for her and the trainer seemed to think she was trainable -- she was certainly getting better and better at responding to commands... but she was still a maniac on the leash. Great in the dog park, and at doggy daycare. Then one day I was walking the kids to school and she jumped up and bit a dad. Not a serious bite, but she broke the skin. So we found a trainer who specialized in aggression and biting and have been emailing and communicating with her in advance of the meeting we had set for Sunday. Then today she attacked a guy at the dog park, drawing blood. Talked it over with the trainer and decided we have to give her back to the rescue. I am so, so upset. I love this dog! I have been sobbing. We have kids, and I know it is unrealistic to keep an erratic, aggressive dog in the house (and right now we can't bring anyone home because she snarls and snaps at them)... but she's so lovely and well-behaved with us! (Yes, I know that's what every dog owner says right before the dog bites their kid's face off...)

I joked to someone that WH got the dog in lieu of having another baby to save our failing marriage -- that was a joke, and R is actually going quite well. But the emotional strain of this is just AWFUL. My heart HURTS. I'm sure it's all a ball of wax and some of the A feelings are wrapped up in it, and I'm sure that WH feels like he fucked up again. Regardless... I'm going to miss her. It's awful how quickly we attach to animals.


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Aug 2012
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Blobette)))


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 36497 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14823 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry for you. We have a rescue and she is very unpredictable. Not as aggressive as what you describe. I hope the rescue organization is able to work with the dog and does not just try to re home it quickly. (Which is how we got this dog )

((Blobbette))


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6440 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry...

but you're right... you don't want an aggressive, unpredictable dog around kids.


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24357 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I'm so sorry. That must be so very hard. But it must be done. Big hugs to you all.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6306 | Registered: Jan 2011
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Blobette)))

Posts: 33938 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, honey. ((((blobette))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24437 | Registered: Aug 2011
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are doing the right thing. I know its hard but hang in there. There are countless other dogs that are waiting to find a good home that won't bite.

I am so sorry hon!


Posts: 2478 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that it hurts. It's a good sign that you are a great family looking for a dog, that it hurts. But there are hundreds, literally hundreds of good dogs out there, needing a loving home, and you should look for one of them. You have children you cannot have an erratically aggressive dog with children in the house. And the next person that the dogs bites, and there will be a next person, could end up owning everything that you have saved for in your life by suing you.

Find that good family dog that is out there waiting for you, and looking to love you and your family. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Blobette)))

I'm really sorry this didn't work out for you...but it sounds like it wasn't a good fit for anyone, including the dog, so you're doing the right thing by bringing her back to the rescue group.

I know it hurts and I'm so sorry. I hope you can find just the right one that will bring you and your family years of joy.

Take a deep breath, give her a cookie and a kiss...she will be loved again


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196521 | Registered: May 2002
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I know. Thanks everyone. I am so sad about this. I keep wanting to give her another chance... Nice metaphor, right? We haven't told the kids yet, and they've been happily playing with her... They're going to be so upset!


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Aug 2012
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blob you have to do what is safe and smart, and sometimes that hurts like hell, I have had a similar situation myself.

We had a dalmation that we got because we were grieving the loss of another dog, DUMB move. Anyway this dog was a behavior problem from the word go. We did anything you could think of to train him. We eventually had him to a point where he was well behaved, and he was bout 3.5 years old.
We had our first child, and he did a few goofy things when he came along, things that were concerning, jumped on the couch and stood over him as a newborn, growled at my H when he was trying to quiet the neverending crying (bad baby).
Then he signed his own death sentence, he went through the invisible fence, and bit a neighbor kid that was a teen, she walked by our house at the same time every day to pick up her sister, and she loved animals, they had 3 or 4 dogs at her house. He bit her hard on her rear, broke through her jeans, busted the skin the whole nine yards. We of course provided proof for the family that he was up to date on vaccinations, bought her a new pair of expensive jeans, and I the nurse took care of her wound.

I could not, and would not keep a dog like that around with small kids. I had two young nieces, and my infant son. I no longer trusted him, and felt it was unsafe to rehome him with anyone else.

It was horrible and heartbreaking. It was the right thing to do however because he was ok one second then would just flip there was no way to retrain, or work through his schizophrenia, and that is what is was. He was mentally unstable from day one. He had a great happy life the time he was with us, and that is something that gives me peace.

I feel your pain, but you would never ever forgive yourself if this dog hurt any of your kids, of friends of kids.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7815 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 13

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