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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How on earth do people afford attorneys?
♀ Member
Member # 29288
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are there bad lawyers out there? Yes, there are. My FWH and I are both lawyers, I handle the business end of his practice now. So, let me just say that there are also a lot of bad clients out there. Why do you need to pay your lawyer a retainer? Because lawyers have discovered that if they do not get the money up front, many clients won't pay. My FWH does not practice domestic law, but I have friends who have and it is a tough area to practice in--think of all the crazy WS's we hear about on SI all the time. Would you want to represent them? Also, there is a lot of emotion and turmoil to deal with. Not many lawyers want to handle that. The ones that do often ask for top-dollar to do it.

It has been my FWH's experience that clients lie about things, even when they have been told the importance of telling their lawyer the whole truth. This almost never works, the lies are invariably exposed and the case ends up badly--and whose fault is it? Yes, you guessed it, it is the lawyer's fault! You would be amazed at the number of times clients ask for advice, don't follow it, then come back in complaining because things went wrong. Apparently, that is also the lawyer's fault.

I do agree that every person who needs legal representation should be able to have it, especially when children are involved. The funding for legal aid services has been cut dramatically over the past 10 years or so, which is too bad. Few legal aid offices can take divorce cases anymore, unless, as someone already said, there is domestic violence involved.

Me--BW (56)
Him--FWH (53)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 20 years
DS-18, DD-15
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!

Posts: 1334 | Registered: Aug 2010
♀ Member
Member # 39192
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, November 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, I did not mean for this thread to be used this way. When I started this thread, I did not mean to start a conversation about bad or good lawyers. I do not have the funds, credit, etc to use for one and wondered the strategies others have used to pay for one in case I had not considered something.

Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing.

~~Tao Te Ching

Posts: 152 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, November 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, back to the original question.

This divorce has already cost (between the 2 of us) $75k. This is because he did not want me to get a dime of his retirement. He would rather givie it over to the lawyers.

I didn't pay my lawyer a dime the first 1.5 years of this 3 year+ divorce, except the $2,500 retainer.

She saw my SAWH's retirement funds and said that my fees would be taken out of that and they were. He had to take the distribution to give me my half and it was split between both lawyers.

Now, I am having to continue paying in installments because this is an ugly, ugly divorce where he does not agree to a dam thing!

My lawyer has 30 yrs experience and her father before her was a divorce lawyer too. She knew her money was coming via the retirement fund so no problem.

Oh and the $75k was AFTER we went to see the mediator twice!

Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 43
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