My fWH wanted to break off all contact with his Aunt since she isn't really a friend to the M, however, since he doesn't really have much of a family left I convinced him to give her another chance. She lives all the way on the other side of the country so there really isn't much she can do.
About every 3 months or so, my fWH and his siblings email contact with her to see how she is doing. In the most recent exchange all siblings detailed their family lives and what's going on in their little corners of the world. All expounding on the merits of the children's sporting abilities or lack thereof, the temperament of the various puppies and current job situations. In my fWH's email to the Aunt, he told her about his need to find a new job, about our little puppy, our DD's school year and soccer stats and my promotion (a very lucrative and important promotion I might add). In the Aunt's reply she individually responded to each sibling and the things mentioned in each email. When she got to my fWH's turn, she praised him, my DD and the puppy. I was not mentioned at all. I found this so funny I actually laughed at loud at work. I think she just blew her last chance at being part of fWH's life.
I put it down to 2 things really. 1) her father cheated on her mother, her brother, my fWH's dad, cheated on fWH's mom, fWH's brother and SIL cheated on each other numerous times, and both of my fWH's sister's husbands cheated on her...so in a sick and twisted way infidelity is 'normal' for them; and 2) blood is thicker than water and the original story that my fWH told them made it seem like our M had been in 'trouble' for years. My fWH admitted to her that he lied but I think at her age, she is in her late 70s, it is just easier to turn a blind eye.
I will never see her in person, nor will my DD, so to her!!
FWH wanted nothing to do with his asshole father and sister. I was always like, "They're FAMILY. You LOVE each other! We can FIX this!!"
Well, after 10 years of being consistently disrespected and scapegoated for every single one of his toxic family's issues, I FINALLY learned to detach. There's still a part of me that feels weird not to be fretting and fixing, but I also have a ton more respect for myself for letting go.
No more chances for the aunt from you, and if she looks at you sideways he needs to be the one to say cease and desist.
Crickets are ok too. Ask Dr. Susan Forward.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot