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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I Wonder
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder about my H's exLTA of a year. I wonder how much he liked her, how much cooler she was than me. How he liked her best. How he took her everywhere and spent so much time with her. IT. DRIVES. ME. NUTS.

As BS, how are we supposed to get over this? As part of of our healing self esteems. I mean, I do forgive him, but it makes me terribly sad inside...

Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cooler then you? Come on. Your name is Liberty Rocks for crying out loud!

Hey ((LR)) you know what? The AP in our case could be funnier, brighter, prettier then me. Whatever she is, he just walked in the door here with love in his eyes so I am guessing she wasn't enough. Or better yet...I am!!!

And so are you!

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2437 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love that, LA!

me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.

Posts: 2056 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 2:07 AM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not pretending to have this sorted, it's a demon I wrestle with a lot, but in my "saner" moments I think this:

The OW may be prettier, skinnier, more accomplished BUT she does not have a good soul, she does not have a kind heart, she does not have a gentle spirit. And in the great big scheme of things THOSE are the things that count.

To do the things she did - to sit and listen to him phone me, knowing she was about to go and have sex with him, to sleep in her bed with him 40 times, knowing he had a family at home - those things show me she was NOT a nice person. And in my books, niceness counts way more than all the other surface stuff.

BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1022 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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