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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feeling overwhelmed
topperoff22
♀ Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH is being great. Really. He's trying hard. Good meeting with our pastor today,but right after a doctor appointment where they confirmed my pregnancy. We haven't told anyone and that is hard for me. I tell my mom everything and i really feel I need someone other than my WH to talk about this with. So...you guys are it, I guess.

We wanted to wait to tell everyone after our first prenatal which is in three weeks. Not sure if that will happen if I keep having breakdowns like I did today when the midwife told me I have to go off my anxiety meds. My regular doctor said to stay on them because she knows everything I'm going through. I know God is in control, no matter what happens, so I'm just taking it one moment at a time. Still...with all the other stuff going on I'm a bundle of nerves and am probably going to need something to calm me.

Not only that, but I feel almost numb about this. Isn't that awful?! It's like I'm afraid to be happy -- I don't want to be happy and have something bad happen (what a horrible way to think and one of the biggest things my counselor is working on with me.) I feel guilty for not being happy because my best friend lost a baby at 27 weeks two weeks ago. :(

She and her husband would be so happy to have a baby and now I have one -- as far as we know -- and I feel numb and confused about it all so far. I know it will be different after the first ultrasound, but for now I feel like I'm in a weird universe that is notmy own
WH said tonight: "I've made so many mistakes. I've messed things up but i want to fix things and I want to keep working. You are not alone. I will be there for you. I know I haven't been in the past, but I want to be there for you from now on."

It was great to hear, but I told him I still have trouble feeling safe with him. He said he understands...I hope he does and that he knows I appreciate his efforts. It's just that somedays I feel....again...that word...numb.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
iwillNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((topper off)))

I think what you are feeling is totally normal. Right now, in is out and up is down, numb or sad or guilty - my IC says to lean into what you are feeling, sit with it, let it move through you and let it drain away. Good advice. Sometimes it even works

I guess what I am trying to say is, it'll be crazy for a while, but at the core of you, you will love and be grateful for this baby. Right now you're just hunkered down and trying to weather the storm, and that is necessary; this baby will be your beautiful little rainbow on the other side.

(((hugs and strength)))


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 469 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
topperoff22
♀ Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right now you're just hunkered down and trying to weather the storm, and that is necessary; this baby will be your beautiful little rainbow on the other side.

Thank you.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
breakingpoint
♀ Member
Member # 40963
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to go off anti-depressents due to pregnancy as well, but I wasn't in the middle of the most stressful situation ever!

I went off the them slowly and it minimized the side effects. I went to half a dose for a couple weeks, then a half every other day.

I HATE when people say this, but could you consider holistic remedies? Maybe even meditation?

You can do it! Good luck.


Posts: 115 | Registered: Oct 2013
topperoff22
♀ Member
Member # 40762
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I HATE when people say this, but could you consider holistic remedies? Maybe even meditation?

She doesn't even want me to take anything natural at this point. :( Unfortunately, I may have to and leave it in God's hands...or just leave the anxiety in God's hands instead.


BS - Me 36
WS - Him 35 (almost 36)
Child: son, 6; just learned one on way
DDAY - July 24, 2013 (thousands spent on ex girlfriend)
DDAY2 -Aug. 3, 2013 (proof he slept with her)
R is slow going after TT for 1 month

Posts: 316 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: US
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on the pregnancy.

Maybe even meditation?

A few years ago I was dealing with severe anxiety and having frequent anxiety attacks. The Doctor prescribed anti-anxiety meds. The meds helped some, but I didn't like the side effects. I took a meditation class and soon after started daily meditation. After a few months I didn't need the meds anymore. I have been off the meds now for over 3 years and my daily meditation practice keeps my anxiety in check. It has been a godsend for me.

My advice, learn to meditate ASAP. There is a lot of information on the web to get you started. I started with the DVD titled: Meditation for Beginners by Maritza. Here is a link on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Meditation-Beginners-Maritza/dp/B00006HAX2/

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 8:21 PM, October 18th (Friday)]


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Posts: 5622 | Registered: Aug 2007
Topic Posts: 6

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