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Newest Member: tooclose (44327)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The C word.
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Wink  Posted: 1:25 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Celibacy.

I was at a friend's birthday party last night, it was all women because she is celebrating her recent release from a toxic marriage and there is something about a female full moon gathering that is quite special.

We ranged in age from 45 to 65 and the conversations were lively.

I always wind up talking with one of her friends who looks 35, has two twenty-somethings and is actually in her mid-50s.

She has been dating nonstop since her divorce several years ago and seems to consistently attract passive aggressive loser/users.

She's smart, funny and pretty unhappy with her job, apartment and trying to find another mate.

I was telling her about how I've been celibate since DDay, and she was intrigued at the concept.

This is the longest I've gone without since I became sexually active. We started talking about our relationships with our dads, turns out we both had the same disappearing dad scenario when we were 10 years old, and how that affected the drive to find someone to validate us.

Told her that life seems much simpler now and that eliminating the need to hook up with someone has opened up a lot of space for other things that are quite satisfying.

It's not craycray cat lady territory at all. I'm really starting to embrace it as a lifestyle.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 1:26 PM, October 19th (Saturday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17176 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 33971 | Registered: Mar 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too! This is the longest I have gone without sex too... it's been about a year and a half now...and I don't miss it. I have a toy drawer that suffices if the urge hits... but I kinda like the simpler lifestyle! Plus my toddler keeps me busy so I don't really have time for another one...


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been on the bus for 5 years. Maybe it's because I'm older now and want more out of life than just some one night stand. I decided a long time ago I'm not having sex until I am in a committed relationship.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4703 | Registered: Feb 2008
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She has been dating nonstop since her divorce several years ago and seems to consistently attract passive aggressive loser/users
And how has this worked for her?

I don't want quantity but quality. It's worth the wait.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20323 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's really unhappy. If she could take some 'me' time (like about a year), she could probably get inspired to make some changes.

But she's the one who has to do it. I think she got married really young and doesn't know any other way...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17176 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 6

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