I think people need to step back and realize many kids have accidentally walked in on their parents having sex. Does that mean their parents should be arrested? Be charged with abuse? What would happen if the table was reversed and the child accidentally walked in on the mother? Just because this was the OW doesn't mean it wasn't an accident. You can't let this color everything in your life. Find out the true facts and don't overreact.
But I would find out every detail of this. If it was a simple mistake because she's not used to having children around then that's one thing. If she has no problem with it, then that's another thing. But I think you should contact her directly, tell her you just want to understand what happened, and her reaction will probably give you everything you need. And if she is unapologetic, tell her she is never to do this again and you'll be in touch with the appropriate agencies if she does.
Lastly, you might want to try and record the conversation.
Hugs and good luck.
I get into routines when my SOs kids are not around that would not be appropriate when they are here. I don't always shut the bathroom door so I can hear the radio. I will run into the other room w/o clothes really quickly. I can see how this could happen.
I think it should be mentioned to the OW that she needs to be more careful but stopping visitation over one incident? That seems over the top. I get that this is the OW so feelings are probably extra negative. I wouldn't be thrilled but this all seems awfully dramatic.
MY SO's boys are 10. If they walked on me. I would calmly shut the door and that would be the end of it. We are all naked under our clothes and I think it creates funky issues for people if nudity becomes a HUGE issue.
My SO and I forgot to lock our bedroom door one time and one of the boys walked in during the middle of the night while were engaged in adult activities. He wasn't very awake and forgot to knock. We handled it very non-dramatically and its been a non-issue. We haven't forgotten to lock the door again though!
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
I can say that in my profession I have seen more bodies without clothes than with, and there have only been a few times where I had to look twice, or where I found something so interesting I had a second look. The first being the first penis tat I saw, and the second being implants on a 90 year old woman (CREEPY), and the first penile peircing. That was it, otherwise no biggie, and your son needs to understand that too. It's not taboo, it's just a body.
Anway, I'm sorry your X was such an ass.
Perhaps it was an accident but your Ex's reaction was disgusting. Why would your son lie to you and since when is "fuck you" an appropriate response to anything? That's abusive. What an asshole. He's just teaching his kid that he isn't concerned with hurting him but rather protecting his girlfriend. Gross.
My husband is my daughter's step father. She saw him naked once when she was three on accident, never again. He always changes when the door is closed.
What bothers me is that he is calling your son a liar. I think you need to have a frank discussion about it. I wouldn't call cps or anything, but it does need to be addressed.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
Being a BS does not give us the right to go around threatening the other parent anytime they do something we don't like, to think everything the OW does is abusive or be abusive ourselves because they deserve it.
Just in this thread people have grown up in different households about nudity. It's not all abuse and the boy should not be taken away from his dad for something like this. Once again what if this happened the BS and the WS was threatening. I think people would be saying very different things.
While I feel that she has less morals than a street whore, I did give her the benefit of doubt in stating I understand accidents happen. But, when his first response was placing the blame on a 10-year-old...well...what on earth justifies that??
As I say this...I am reminded of the time he told his then 10-year-old daughter that if he had to choose between his kids and the ho...he'd choose the ho. So...he definitely has his priorities straight.
My attorney has everything documented...the nudity and so much more. I email everything to him (atty) as things happen. That way...there is never any question. Since Dad of the Year is always thousands behind in court ordered payments, I spend a ridiculous amount of time in his office anyways.
Do my boys see me nude? Of course. Do I run through the house naked or lounge around that way? No. But I live with three young children and privacy is something I rarely have. But...there is a distinct difference between seeing your parents nude and seeing your dads Jezebel in the buff. Especially when you are a 10-year-old boy on the cusp of puberty.
However, I did not make a huge deal out of it with my wonderful ex...but advised him it needs to not happen twice. I will never stop my boys from seeing their Dad...shitty as he is. But, if there ever comes a day when he skips off into Unicorn Fart Land with his latest human mattress, and never glances back????? I will be silently singing and dancing in sheer joy to not have to deal with him and his psychosis ever again.
And...I will never stop protecting my boys to the depths of my ability.