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User Topic: A dream brought me down
Long Gone
♂ Member
Member # 32587
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, October 20th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I get into this......Facebook was what happened to us and her A...she signed up in 10/10 and yada...within 3 weeks she was in an affair with a guy she dated in college.

She dropped FB on her own and never looked back. She is and has been an absolute gem since then.....honestly.

Our first 2 years were tough, but we have moved mountains.

Last week she asked if she could once again sign up with me doing the registering...owning the email and having full access. She is missing so much with friends and family afar. I can understand that....

but.....I am not ready I think.

Last night I had a series of ugly dreams.....I have not felt the feelings I felt during and after the dream since shortly after DDay. We all know that feeling....the hopeless gut destroying feeling when you have been told that you were and have been irrelevant. That your partner of so many years has thrown you away for a piece of shit.

Thats the feeling.....its been a tough day....

I thought I was so far down the road....so far....but now? not so much.


D-Day 11/26/10

Posts: 767 | Registered: Jun 2011
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is still an ever present trigger. IMHO we survived before Facebook and will do so without it. The real family and friends, we have the opportunity to reach out.
The others are acquaintances. It isn't worth loosing the progress you have both made in your healing.
Each of you should put one another first.
Just my opinion. The fact that the WS can put facebook aside, speaks volumes towards sensitivity to your feelings. If I understand correctly, it is connecting with friends on Facebook that is in question. True friends are still accessible. Right?


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 615 | Registered: Jul 2012
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dreams are rough because we experience real emotions from them and have to carry the memories as well.

It's ok not to be ready for her to get onto FB. Of COURSE it's a huge trigger, and I don't think it's really fair of her to ask. I get the long distance family thing, but we survived before FB somehow... and she used it as a tool to destroy her marriage so she should consider alternate means of keeping in touch with people. IMHO.

You're doing ok - this is a little setback. Take deep breaths, be true to yourself. This will pass.

(((Long Gone)))


If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive, you're a hero. - J. Winger

Posts: 17554 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3

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