It scares me. Should it though?
MrH lets DS13 get away with a lot. Don't get me wrong, he's a good kid for a teen. He'll ignore me when I tell him to do his chores, fight me on his homework and constantly try to get away with stuff by claiming my boundaries mean his sister is the favorite (shes 9- so has different rules). When DS screws up, MrH excuses it. He doesn't expect much of DS. Heck, when he blows his homework off, MrH gets upset with me.
I worry that one day DS13 will be like his father. He's already got an entitled attitude to some extent. And I'm the one that attempts to set the boundaries and consequences. I worry that this will set up a dynamic that has DS resenting the female in his life and looking at her as someone to subvert. And cheat on.
I'm working on changing the dynamic. I've put my foot down with MrH about the homework. Told him if I'm responsible for DS doing the homework then MrH needs to stop just handing him his phone when DS claims to be bored. Make him read a book or do something creative. There's a class on parenting teens at our church I wanted MrH to attend (I'm teaching 2's during that time). He won't because a friend is teaching it and his oldest is the same age as DS. He does work with teens though and I think has good insight.
I know I'm borrowing trouble. But I worry. I decided to stay because I thought the kids were seeing a good example of a M. Not so much now. I worry I'm raising my son with a cheater attitude. Even MrH says that DS's sweetness started to go away around the time of the A. He had just turned 6yo.
Do you see this in WSs? A childhood with few expectations and consequences?"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣