We were doing so much better at the beginning of this, there were times when I couldn't keep my hands off of him, we made passionate love and I felt like we connected in a way we NEVER have until now. His guard was down, for a very short period of time. Is it normal to become more and more de-tached as this sinks in? Or is his attitude contributing to the derailment of this relationship? There are so many hurtful things that he did during his A, beyond cruel and things he continues to say now like "the number 1 reason we didn't run off together is I don't want to be with a flight attendant." He still defends that, but says of course it's because I love you, I want you, I love my wife. He's lied to me SO many times, it's hard to believe anything. Am I fool to even try with this man? He also told me the night I found out about the A (not anywhere close to what really happened) he said "I love her and I always will." He defends this position by saying everybody still loves their first loves, etc. Please read my profile and help me.
If I need a swift kick to my butt, please do it. Please help me, I'm scared and feel as if I'm losing touch with reality.
[This message edited by cluless at 9:30 PM, October 21st (Monday)]
Default Posted: 12:11 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2008 View P
Hi. Sorry that you have found yourself here. The forum is a good place to get guidance and support.
First, * weeks is not very long in the big picture. Many excellent resources on the recovery after an affair will state that it takes about two years to start to feel "okay" after the A.
Are you in IC? Is he?
The passion you describe sounds like Hysterical Bonding. My fWH and I did this for months after D'Day.
Obviously I cant say for sure, but its a theory.
In my experience it is perfectly normal to be confused in the weeks following disclosure,I sure was!
Married 23 years - together for 29 years
DDay - June 10th 2012 then TT'd-June 2012 - July 2012 (and beyond????)
2 amazing children
"Understanding love is one of the hardest things in life." - Fred Rogers