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Newest Member: mamaof4 (44197)

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User Topic: Lamest excuses for breaking NC
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, October 21st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was thinking back to earlier this year, and there were several times WH broke no contact.

First time, "She (ow) called when I was really buzzed and since she lives so close to the bar I crashed on her sofa."

Second time, "Yes, that takeout place is a block from 'her' apartment, but what should I do if I want those particular tacos....drive several miles out of my way?" (Yeah, he bumped into her by "accident" that time.

Third time, "I don't know why I called her"

There were other times I'm sure , but the lines were blurry of when, where, etc.

When I get sad, I think back to those devastating days and feel better about a hopefully brighter future. Even if its alone.

I'm sure others here have more interesting stories of why NC was broken! The truth is usually they just wanted to, right?


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course they wanted to.

Mine managed (as far as I know) not to contact any of his ladeez when we were in the six-month trial R phase, but I found out later he was busy grooming a new victim on the road, but he was and is an addict so probably a different scenario.

They do get addicted to the rush though, I do believe that.

Onward and upward. Not my problem anymore!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17097 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always got--but SHE contacted me first!

the last time she contacted H was because she was so upset that her H might possibly have a brain tumor--then she called him back a week later to say ohhh sorry he doesn't have a brain tumor. I think she made the whole thing up. Besides so what? I don't care what her H has or not have....its her problem not my H's.


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of course the most common one. "I needed closure" of course after closure came,
"she had a health scare, I needed to be sure she was OK". (My response was if she's pregnant it's not yours dumbass, you were neutered remember?)
Her best friend contacted, on her behalf, "Well it wasn't her, they just wanted to know how I was doing."

The best was when he finally got his head removed from his ass, and was doing the work of R. She contacted him again, and he told her to leave him alone, he was done, she had done enough damage, and she offered to send him some fancy ass expensive bottle of wine that they had shared ar some point. "He said great send it, we would be happy to celebrate our new beginning on your dime."
She told him he was a dick and hung up on him, I'm still waiting for that expensive wine.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7785 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ionlytalkedtoher.....
of course her husband has a brain tumor - HER

Posts: 881 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't call her. I called her BACK.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 47
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

ôSlide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4446 | Registered: Dec 2010
Healing2012
♀ Member
Member # 35238
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW is a total "Damsel In Distress," so I tended to believe my WH when he said she called him. However, I'm not stupid. WH did not have to answer her calls or call her back.

My favorite, though, was when she called (the week after D-Day) to tell him that she got a black eye and she didn't really know where it came from, but maybe it was from roughhousing with her two sons...but that she did just break up with this trashy guy (hint hint). This was early on and I was glad my WH was upfront about telling me she called. I had her pegged then and there that she was nothing but a drama queen who wanted to see just how attached he was to her. She wanted to see if he'd come to her rescue

Anyway, he broke NC by calling her back and then calling her parents to make sure she was OK. Dumbass.


BS: Me (40)
WS: Husband (46)
Married 8 years
Two children 5 & 17 (my stepson)
D-day #1: 12/18/11
D-day #2: 8/26/12 (still in contact w/ OW)
Status: Separated - not R, not D.

Posts: 353 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Midwest
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told me that he broke it off with her before Dday when he decided to get back together with me (he had asked for time apart in the months before Dday). A few weeks later, she showed up at his house upset. He told her he wasn't interested, but let her come in the house, had SEX with her, and let her stay the night because he felt bad that she was so upset. Yeah, right... I'm sure it had nothing to do at all with him wanting to have sex with the underwear model. How stupid does he think I am?


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1017 | Registered: Jul 2013
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I wanted to make sure she was okay"


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I wanted to make sure she was okay"

I got this one too, lame!


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5224 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
Issaquah
♀ Member
Member # 34484
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In some screwed up way it was my fault according to WH.

After she sent a bunny boiler email to me on my DD's bday I was livid and decided to tell her BSO. OW had told my WH that her current SO was a previous "guy on the side" when she was in a different relationship. When I went to his home to inform him of the A, he seemed totally shocked. I said to him "I'm surprised your shocked, OW said that you were her man on the side in her previous relationship" He said, that no he wasn't ever a guy on the side. So, in my attempt to point out to my WH that OW was a liar, I told him that her BSO denied that he was a previous OM. Some how in my WH's messed up thinking he rationalized that it was okay to cheat with her because her BSO would expect it due to their history.

Well, that backfired, and WH was so hurt that his OW lied to him and he obsessed (to me) that he had to know the truth - thus re-establishing contact and their A.


BS - Me, 41 SAHM back in grad school
WS - Husband, 43 SA dx in March 2013
T-20, M-18 college sweethearts
Multiple DDays since 1999 - OW's all the way back to engagement
Most recent DDay 8-12,false R 1/13
DD-11, DS 13 with ASD

Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Virginia
myperfectlife
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

" I needed to apologize for saying that she was chasing (another) married man."

"I was drunk" (from a man who has NEVER excused anyone for drunken behavior)

"She unblocked me and texted me, so I started talking to her again."

"I thought you were going to divorce me." (several times, even after he swore he would not talk to her regardless of whether we divorce or not)

"I thought there was no hope for us." (see above)

"I thought, why do all the hard work when I can just do the easy thing and be with her instead." (see above)

"I don't know. It was the dumbest thing I have ever done." (several times on this one)

"I have issues. You can ask the therapist~!"
Wow...really?

and finally...
"I didn't have the tools NOT to call her."
(what.)


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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