You are 100% right! I am angry b/c I felt they did me wrong, very wrong. How do I get over the anger?
I'm the product of a 'happy home' growing up so my thoughts might not be so appropriate to your situation(YMMV).
I don't think you have to 'get over' your anger. I don't think you have to necessarily forgive your parents, but you do have to find a way to stop allowing their mistakes and mistreatment of you to affect your life.
You don't have to 'forget' but you do have to 'forego.' Forego, here meaning 'give up' the influence over you.
You can't 'confront' your father, you can only 'confront' the effects within yourself that he caused to a child who did not deserve anything but love.
You CAN confront your mother but you might not hear what would be helpful to you. I would do so only with professional guidance.
It's understandable that you would feel resentment because of this, but did you ever hear this expression?:
"Resentment is the poison that you take, hoping that the other person will die."
Think about that. Think about it a lot.
Your 'internal dialogue' about your experiences is poisoning your capacity to live life to your fullest.
I think that one of the key realizations for you might be that yes, you have been 'victimized' by non-present parents - but you don't have to live as a victim.
I don't see your 'stretch' so much as having to forgive (although that has great power) but rather giving yourself permission to live life without your childhood as an encumbrance.
In other words, it is part of your life, but does not have to be part of your 'story' as you move forward.
Can you find ways to do that? Does this make any sense to you?? Can you tell that I'm married to a grown wounded child??