Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: timeonmyhands (43227)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts-12
RippedSoul
♀ Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so hate the business trips, too. They actually freak me out! My husband was gone, last year at this time, for my b-day, with his AP. He'll be gone again tomorrow, my birthday, plus two, then next week as well. :(

I like the quote, though. Thanks! :)


BW: 49
SAWH: 46
M: 22.5 yrs
TT: Nov 12-Jan 13
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14

Posts: 312 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
sadone29
♀ Member
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Business trips suck. H had had a few this past year. The last one was just an overnight. He promised he wouldn't drink, but of course gave in when he was there.

One quick question: Giving a ride home to a female coworker...yay or nay? She asked him out of the blue because her boyfriend's out of town and she lives on our street. Without even thinking, I said I was fine with this. Seems my default is yes to everything. I don't even think about it before I answer.


SAWH: working hard on all addictions
Out of limbo hell. R Feb. 15
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding -proverbs 3:5

Posts: 456 | Registered: Mar 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have no CSATs anywhere near us...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA (tt, uncovering much more) d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 (full confession)"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah

Posts: 2011 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
putonahappyface
♀ Member
Member # 30269
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to hear that, Steadfast...it's frustrating! We only have the one, so of course he can charge premium rates! Lacking a CSAT, I think the next best thing would be someone who specializes in addiction. Most of the principles & techniques are the same. I would call any of the ones that mention addictions, & ask if they have any experience with SA. You may find that they aren't certified, but do have experience. Then if you find that, meet with more than one to find the toughest one! (that works best with my SA - no pussy footing' around)

Can he find an SA or SAA group? Honestly, that accountability & fellowship has probably meant just as much if not more to my SA's recovery. If not, there are online groups or phone-in meetings. Where there's a will there's a way, & it's critical that the WILL be there. Good luck to you all. Peace & strength!


BS (me) - 49; SAWH- 50 (hurtherbadly)
Married 26 yrs
2 DS - 20 &16
Dday 6/4/2010. 2 EA/PA
11/15/12 update: found lots of porn on phone: SA discovery


Posts: 708 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Bluegrass
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since I'm still reeling from finding the pics my WH took a few months ago, I'm digging up old into I'd saved from when I first found out about the calls.

I need someone to slap with with a 2x4 and tell me to wake up!!!! Mind you, over the course of 6-7 months there were about 280 calls and 215 texts, this is a sampling of one phone number he contacted a lot. He still says it was only talking, they never met up. What do you think?! Yes, these were all to one number!! If there is no note next to the date it meant the call only was :30 which I assume means straight to VM.

Note we were married April 17.

Calls:
April 23 (3 times)
April 25- 2 minutes
April 26- 6 times (one was for 3 min)
May 3- (4 minutes)
May 7
May 10 (4 minutes)
May 11 (2 minutes)
May 13
May 14
June 4- twice
June 5
June 6
June 9
June 10- (3 times) 2minutes
June 14
June 27
August 3- 2 minutes
Aug 11 (twice)


Texts:
April 23
May 3
May 9 (4 texts)
May 10 (7 texts)
May 13 (5 texts)
May 25- 6 texts
June 5
June 10
June 17
Aug 3 (1 being a multimedia message) 8 texts
Aug 10 (first was an outgoing text message) 27 texts

[This message edited by jzkc1502 at 11:27 AM, November 12th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 28
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not sure a group would be a good fit.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 5:56 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA (tt, uncovering much more) d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 (full confession)"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah

Posts: 2011 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
DrivingPast
♀ Member
Member # 32984
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jzkc,

If I remember correctly, these are calls to hookers/escorts? Hookers do not have time or inclination to waste time texting or chatting away. If you want to meet, most times the same day only, then they will talk. No bullshit. I could almost guarantee you that a hooker getting that many texts/calls from some dude who never shows up would stop answering his calls (many hookers keep good records). Do NOT be surprised at how short a phone call has to be. Less than a minute. It is usually just to confirm or tell a room number at a hotel (they will say come to such and such hotel and call me when you get there, then will tell you the room number, for example) or say "im here come meet me", etc. Was he also emailing them? Have you had access to that email address?

Its not unheard of for men to have a full-on "love" affair with a hooker. That number of calls and texts is alarming. Why in the hell would he be searching for a hooker, then "only" call them that many times? What does he claim they were talking about that much??

I would bet money he is meeting them. I know how much you want to believe its not that.

Huge hugs.


BW
married more than 10 yrs to a possible SA
D-Day May 5 2011
"Because one knows people best through their fears - the ones they overcome and the ones they are overcome by."

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Aug 2011
RippedSoul
♀ Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jzkc, I can't imagine there's that much activity--and nothing else. I, too, am sorry to say that. It's not what I want to type or what you want to read. Until he gets into therapy/recovery and decides to be truthful, you may never know. But you can assume. :( Hugs.

Speaking of therapy, steadfast, we are dealing with no CSATs available to us, either. They exist near us; they don't exist within our insurance plan. SAWH went to an IC appt last week. We have Kaiser and it took over 4 weeks to get that appt. He texted, about 3 minutes before his appt, "I can already tell you this drive is burdensome, esp during the work day. I know it's closer than ____________, but it shouldn't take a whole day off work for a 50 min appt." But as soon as he got out of the appt, he texted me again saying, "Seems like a good fit. We're gonna try the really early/really late spots." He also told me they scheduled another appt for early Dec (closest they could get) and 2 within a week or two after that. He also told me that while the therapist is not a CSAT, he is an addiction specialist. Hard to tell anything with appts 4 weeks apart. Not nearly enough. But better than nothing at this point?

Questions for y'all. Do I call Kaiser and speak with the therapist? Do I talk to SAWH first? Do I ask for permission to speak to therapist? May I ask IC what his specialty is? If he plans disclosure, celibacy/abstinence period, poly, etc.? Or just wait for my husband to tell me? And do I try to get therapy there myself? Many of you have your own CSAT, but since a CSAT is not an option, should I just stick with my own IC?


BW: 49
SAWH: 46
M: 22.5 yrs
TT: Nov 12-Jan 13
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14

Posts: 312 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I remember correctly, these are calls to hookers/escorts? Hookers do not have time or inclination to waste time texting or chatting away. If you want to meet, most times the same day only, then they will talk. No bullshit. I could almost guarantee you that a hooker getting that many texts/calls from some dude who never shows up would stop answering his calls (many hookers keep good records). Do NOT be surprised at how short a phone call has to be. Less than a minute. It is usually just to confirm or tell a room number at a hotel (they will say come to such and such hotel and call me when you get there, then will tell you the room number, for example) or say "im here come meet me", etc. Was he also emailing them? Have you had access to that email address?

Its not unheard of for men to have a full-on "love" affair with a hooker. That number of calls and texts is alarming. Why in the hell would he be searching for a hooker, then "only" call them that many times? What does he claim they were talking about that much??

I would bet money he is meeting them. I know how much you want to believe its not that.

Huge hugs.

Yes, this is just a sampling of the 200+ calls and 200+ texts that were sent over a 6 month period. Some numbers were only used once, there were a few others that were contacted to this degree, and then some that were contacted a good bit but not this much.

He claimed that sometimes he'd forget what numbers he had contacted, thats why some numbers came up so much. I can't believe that, you're telling me a number isn't sounding familiar to you when you're calling and texting it several days in a row?

Also, it pissed me off in MC. He goes "ya know, these people are just like sales people". OH COME ON!!! My gut tells me a hooker isn't wasting time on a tire kicker. Like said here, they obviously have plenty of eagerly paying customers so are they really going to waste time trying to coax a hesitant customer....and they wouldn't waste that time texting on someone not paying????


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 28
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jzkc1502, I will give you a bit of info to help you understand why there are so many short calls.

So hookers are usually pretty organized, they are rarely independent contractors. There is often a "security service" they use to ensure their john is going to 1) show up 2) pay upfront in full and not try to haggle and 3) not hurt or kill them. So there is some calls that happen to get a john cleared for a hooker service.

Then there is the hooker service itself. Many have a "call center", which is just a high-tech version of management aka a pimp. John calls in, leaves a short message or does a quick intake call of his request, usually I am available this date and want this sort of package, and may or may not request specific individuals. Service will call back and say who and what is available. They may or may not play phone tag in making a selection.

When the commitment is made, there is often a verification call the day before or day of to make sure the john will show. Or sometimes hooker needs to reschedule. Then, day of, sometimes the location, security gate passcodes, hotel room number, etc will be given to the john. Sometimes the john may have to call when they arrive.

So no, they are not chatting it up, being "salespeople", or sexting for free. It is a business transaction. At most they may send a pic or something, but honestly they usually have a web site/message board or something where they have one on display.

I can tell you from experience how traumatic it is to find more graphic details than you really want to know about what really happens when your spouse uses hookers. It is absolutely horrific and you cannot unsee it. Requires years of therapy to get over it. Please take my word for it that yours has been in fact seeing them and is lying/minimizing/blameshifting/gaslighting about it. If you need to know he has seen them, and exchanged money for sex acts so you can take your next step, he has. Don't keep chasing the evidence. Decide what you need, and what you should do next and focus your energy on that. Chasing evidence is a waste of time.

I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you happier news. Holding you in the light...


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1410 | Registered: Jun 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ripped, I have never ever found a CSAT that was on our insurance plan. I don't know that I have ever heard of anyone that has. I have heard of many that will provide the documentation so you can file yourself if you have a PPO, but even those plans are becoming more and more limited in what qualifies for reimbursement. We knew going in that any CSAT in driving distance to us would not be covered and would have to pay out of pocket (although we do use it towards the flexpay/HSA pretax type stuff). It was still cheaper than divorce.

I agree that an addictions counselor could work too, and that many CSATs are now willing to skype or do videoconferences. And that there are many who are not yet CSAT certified but have plenty of experience. Most MC are not. But as I said group therapy is not only another beneficial option, but often defrays the cost quite a bit (for the SA and for the spouse, they have both kinds of groups.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1410 | Registered: Jun 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ripped, I have never ever found a CSAT that was on our insurance plan. I don't know that I have ever heard of anyone that has. I have heard of many that will provide the documentation so you can file yourself if you have a PPO, but even those plans are becoming more and more limited in what qualifies for reimbursement. We knew going in that any CSAT in driving distance to us would not be covered and would have to pay out of pocket (although we do use it towards the flexpay/HSA pretax type stuff). It was still cheaper than divorce.

I agree that an addictions counselor could work too, and that many CSATs are now willing to skype or do videoconferences. And that there are many who are not yet CSAT certified but have plenty of experience. Most MC are not. But as I said group therapy is not only another beneficial option, but often defrays the cost quite a bit (for the SA and for the spouse, they have both kinds of groups.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1410 | Registered: Jun 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Questions for y'all. Do I call Kaiser and speak with the therapist? Do I talk to SAWH first? Do I ask for permission to speak to therapist? May I ask IC what his specialty is? If he plans disclosure, celibacy/abstinence period, poly, etc.? Or just wait for my husband to tell me? And do I try to get therapy there myself? Many of you have your own CSAT, but since a CSAT is not an option, should I just stick with my own IC?

Ok. This is my experience. No IC or medical person can discuss your WH's case without written permission. So in my case, I made it a condition of R that WH sign all HIPPA forms to give me that permission to discuss his IC and his docs about STD test results. I also had the opportunity to talk with his CSAT (he started with one, then changed to another) when he was diagnosed, as I was asked to join a session for info gathering. The second one I have sat in a couple of sessions when invited, and once I had a sit down with him and my CSAT when I discovered the motherlode of info. This was because at that point I needed to know that at least the CSAT knew about his history, because there was no point in continuing if WH was lying to his IC to that extreme.

The point is, I have the legal permission to discuss WH's stuff with his CSAT whenever I need to. Mostly I ask through WH about things, and if they sound fishy, I follow up with either my CSAT or his. But I have read a whole lot about SA therapy, have friends in group and 12 step to compare notes with, etc so I am not flying blind. I will tell you in early therapy the SA usually lies or misinterprets what is said to them in sessions, so verification with the CSAT can be very helpful. They are either actively lying to continue acting out, or they are are so messed up and in the fog, their perception of reality is so skewed they can't hear what is really being said to them. Talking with the CSAT usually clears that up. Following up with a poly can also clear that up.

My view is you shouldn't be communicating with his IC to control his therapy. You do it to understand what the plan is, and if WH is sticking to the plan. You do it to confirm he is respecting your boundaries, and that he is actively in recovery, not phoning it in or actively lying about it. But you are entitled to know what is going on if you are trying to save the M, live in the same house, or are trying to figure out custody of kiddos.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1410 | Registered: Jun 2011
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So hookers are usually pretty organized, they are rarely independent contractors.

In addition to these types, there are those who work from websites. For example there are sites for Sugar Daddies. The people advertise what they have for sale and the buyers advertise their net worth and income and what they are looking to buy. In these cases, there is often a pretense that there is a relationship that isn't based on money, but in reality, in my X's situation, it was a cash-for-sex-act transaction. Even for these, there's a desire for paid sex on the john's part, and a desire for cash on the prostitute's part, so there isn't a lot of chit chat prior to getting to the work.

In viewing my X's records, I'd see a lot of those short calls when he was using the services that HathNoFury describes. When he was working the Sugar Daddy websites, etc., there was a bit more contact up front consisting of emails and phone calls. After the relationship was established, the subsequent contact was short - a short phone call or a text to set up the next appointment.

I hope this helps. It's all very hurtful. I know I heard the advice to work on me, but I just kept digging and hoping for a long time. It was just too horrible a truth to sink in to my brain.

{{{ hugs }}}


Posts: 1062 | Registered: Aug 2010
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jzkc1502, I will give you a bit of info to help you understand why there are so many short calls.

So hookers are usually pretty organized, they are rarely independent contractors. There is often a "security service" they use to ensure their john is going to 1) show up 2) pay upfront in full and not try to haggle and 3) not hurt or kill them. So there is some calls that happen to get a john cleared for a hooker service.

Then there is the hooker service itself. Many have a "call center", which is just a high-tech version of management aka a pimp. John calls in, leaves a short message or does a quick intake call of his request, usually I am available this date and want this sort of package, and may or may not request specific individuals. Service will call back and say who and what is available. They may or may not play phone tag in making a selection.

When the commitment is made, there is often a verification call the day before or day of to make sure the john will show. Or sometimes hooker needs to reschedule. Then, day of, sometimes the location, security gate passcodes, hotel room number, etc will be given to the john. Sometimes the john may have to call when they arrive.

So no, they are not chatting it up, being "salespeople", or sexting for free. It is a business transaction. At most they may send a pic or something, but honestly they usually have a web site/message board or something where they have one on display.

I can tell you from experience how traumatic it is to find more graphic details than you really want to know about what really happens when your spouse uses hookers. It is absolutely horrific and you cannot unsee it. Requires years of therapy to get over it. Please take my word for it that yours has been in fact seeing them and is lying/minimizing/blameshifting/gaslighting about it. If you need to know he has seen them, and exchanged money for sex acts so you can take your next step, he has. Don't keep chasing the evidence. Decide what you need, and what you should do next and focus your energy on that. Chasing evidence is a waste of time.

I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you happier news. Holding you in the light...

Thank you so much for this insight. As incredibly painful and disgusting as it is to read, deep down I know its the truth just based on the evidence. NO ONE would call hookers this much, espcially the same hooker this much, if nothing was truly happending. I always believed at some point they;d be like "dude, do you want or not? If not, stop calling".


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 28
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In addition to Sugar Daddy type sites, there are websites and bulletin boards for hooker services too that operate in the same way, and don't even try to have the pretense of a fake sugar daddy theme. They also do most of their communication by mail or bulletin board post to set up things, in the same manner as the call center places, then require one or two phone calls to complete the transaction. Hence why secret phones are so popular with those that use prostitutes, no matter what variety of service they use.

Seriously. Don't go down the rabbit hole, any of you. If there are calls or emails, it's happening. You don't want/need to see the concrete proof that will scar you for life.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1410 | Registered: Jun 2011
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You don't want/need to see the concrete proof that will scar you for life.

I had some of thse experiences. What are you doing to heal, Hath? I'm still in therapy and will be for a long time. I'm still reading lots. I added some EMDR and rapid-resolution therapy recently.

Of course, when the abuse continues past the divorce, it's hard to heal the old stuff. Argh!


Posts: 1062 | Registered: Aug 2010
Donewithhiscrap
♀ New Member
Member # 41352
Sad  Posted: 4:29 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate that I have to join this group.

My SAWH has recently told me his body count. I am devastated.

I remember that one of the first things I ever found in our marriage was "those" kinds of pictures. Oh how I wish I would have had this forum back then!! I could have left and moved on!

We want to make it work but are going to separate for the time being. He keeps TTing me and I can't deal with it any longer.

Today it is knowing that he kept the fact that he brought his wh0re to our house and did things on my bed & new couch.

Today, he is just an a$$hat.


Me: BS (33)
Him: SAWH (39)
Ddays: 12/12, 5/13, 11/13
Body Count: 25+, mostly ONS & 1 3mo LTA

Posts: 4 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Sin City
SpaceJane
♀ Member
Member # 40303
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Donewithhiscrap, im also sorry you find yourself here. I, like you, also had a clue many years ago about his actions, i think probably when his addiction started, but i believed his lies and "got over it". HAD I KNOWN what that meant, gosh.. i think about it all the time.. how i regret not walking out on him years ago too..

I hope you find peace in your heart to do what you think is right for you. A separation might help you to clear your mind. Hugs to you, and like people say here, holding you in the light.


Me BS: 29
SAWH: 29
M: 3yrs ; T: 12yrs
DDay1: 8/11/13 confessed to tip of the iceberg.
DDay2: 8/26/13 Found secret email, 7 yrs of CL casual encounters, dating websites, massage parlors, etc.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Aug 2013
SpaceJane
♀ Member
Member # 40303
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Hi everyone)))),

I have a question about therapy. So I have been attending my CSAT for about a month (4 times), and I can't tell if she is really helping. So far it has been me talking and talking She has given me some advice, but nothing i haven't heard before and really not much to help me cope. Is she trying to get to know all my story first before giving me advice? She does ask a lot of questions...

But for example, today I told her about my anxiety and how controlling I am when my SAWH is out of town. Towards the end of the session I asked how I can deal with these feelings, if there is anything I can do, and she just said, "well he comes back tomorrow so lets see how you act when he is home and then we can talk about it when he leaves again". But this issue is something I talked about for most of the session, and what i got was "you can't control everything, you can't control his acting out. And when he is in true recovery you will see it" ... which led to her asking me what is he doing for recovery while he is out of town and the topic then changed. And I feel like I still have the question, HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS?

I talk most of the session and she says "umhum", "ok", asks questions, but I don't get much advice.
I also told her about an argument where my H said I was acting like a mom and I didn't see it.. no advice on how not to act like a mom, just a "umhum ok" and writes it down...And I have a few other examples like that...

But I don't know, I am wondering if she is trying to get to know me to give me proper advice or if she doesn't know what she is doing. She has me working the Facing heartbreak workbook but thats just on my own basically and I can ask her questions if I need to, which I didn't today.

Is this normal? Shouldn't she be telling me how to deal with things? How do you know if a therapist is helping and worth your time and money, and after how long can you know?

I honestly feel like I have gotten SO MUCH, AND BETTER, advice from this forum, honest, invaluable, excellent, advice. Thank you always for this..


Me BS: 29
SAWH: 29
M: 3yrs ; T: 12yrs
DDay1: 8/11/13 confessed to tip of the iceberg.
DDay2: 8/26/13 Found secret email, 7 yrs of CL casual encounters, dating websites, massage parlors, etc.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 782
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40

Return to Forum: I Can Relate Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.