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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Am I crazy? Need interpretation.
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The douche is at it again.

Our PSA states the following:

"Similarly, notwithstanding the attached holiday schedule, husband shall enjoy parenting time with the child every Christmas Eve from 6pm until Christmas day at 2pm, when husband shall drop the child off at wife's residence."

The holiday schedule refers to the standard state holiday schedule.

To me, the paragraph means that douche gets DD every Xmas eve and Xmas day till 2pm when she then comes to my house. I know this is the correct interpretation because douche and I agreed that we should both be able to see DD during the holiday every year.

Douche is saying that he gets her all of Xmas day this year because it is an odd year. (the state schedule says he gets her for Xmas day in odd years.) He is saying that after 2pm, we revert back to the state schedule. So in effect, he is saying he gets her Xmas eve and Xmas day in the odd years.

Am I crazy?

[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 7:53 PM, October 26th (Saturday)]


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Oct 2009
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So he wants it both ways??? He wants what the two of you agreed to do, and then he wants the state standard on top of that???


Ha! What a dooosh. He is the crazy one. Tell him to suck a candy cane, but only after 2:00 on Xmas when he must return your dd to you.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3523 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, he says he gets her every Xmas eve (which I agreed with) and then every Xmas day in the odd years (which I would never have agreed to).

We split Xmas eve and Xmas day every year because of each of our family traditions. There is no way in hell I would have given up seeing her Xmas eve AND Xmas day in odd years.


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Oct 2009
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought normally it alternates so each parent gets Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I can't imagine that it means he gets her every year for Christmas Eve AND morning. That's just ridiculous. And then additional time?

Could you ask your lawyer for clarification?


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10999 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agreed to him having every Xmas eve till Xmas afternnon, which is what our PSA says.

He wants to revert back to the state schedule at 2pm on Xmas day. So in odd years that would mean he would have her Xmas eve and all of Xmas day.

But the way I read the PSA, it means that I get her on Xmas day at 2pm every year (after he has her time with her).

I know this is confusing. Ugh.


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Oct 2009
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like you now must get this spelled out in your final decree-- make sure the language is not ambiguous. He sounds like an ass.

Why did you agree to letting her be wih him every Xmas Eve? You never want her to wake up in your house on Xmas morning?


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3523 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, October 26th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PR - we have been Ded for 3.5 years now.

No, Xmas morning isn't that important to me, which is why I agreed to it provided that I get Xmas day/evening.

I guess we are at an impasse. Not sure how this is going to get resolved.


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Oct 2009
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a shameless bump to get some insight on my predicament. I figured I would ride on the coattails of tryingagain74's thread. Thanks to the posters who responded already!


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Oct 2009
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Notwithstanding=in spite of.

In spite of=ignoring or not following something else.

Your PSA language means that NO MATTER WHAT it says in the state standard holiday schedule regarding Christmas Eve/Christmas, you two will ALWAYS follow the PSA.

End of story. He's a dick.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19808 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had some advice for you, but of course, I'm wrangling with this myself! I also wish that I were cool with not having Christmas morning, but unfortunately, I'm not.

Take it to your attorney. It sounds like he's not going to listen to reason and is just going to make up his own rules as to how to interpret the legal agreement. You can't argue with stupid.

Hang in there. Such crazymaking.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3540 | Registered: Oct 2011
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like Sad in AZ said, the language means that your PSA overrides the state schedule.

The state schedule will NEVER come into play with regard to Christmas eve and Christmas day.

Period.

End of story.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3072 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 11

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