An hour ago, I was sitting on the couch with her giving her a neck rub. And now I am in the basement of a department store with nowhere to go until she is ready for me to come back.
She started reading through old texts, and saw one where she told me she loved me more than anything else, and this was just before I met up with the OW for the second time.
We were doing as well as can be expected, but I am finding myself pretty distraught right now. She won't aswer my texts or anything.
No longer together
"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."
This is new territory for me. I just don't know how to handle this. She has never ignored my texts for this long, or calls. She is not one to not talk, even if it means yelling at me.
I feel like some switch flipped and she is slipping away from me. I just want to go home to her and my kids. I am such a horrible person for having put someone I love so much throught this.
Meanwhile, yes, give her space. I know exactly where she's coming from on this, been there, but you seem to be grasping this, which is good to see:) I really wish you well.
The truth hurts, but nowhere near as much as the lies
"Sounds harsh, but she's my wife and I'm supposed to be there when she's having sex" Sal1995
I don't agree with getting hotel rooms! It's your home and you need to be there.
Recovery isn't for the faint of heart. It's tough and it hurts at times.
When my wife triggered, I did what she needed, but once we agreed to recover our marriage, I never agreed to stay somewhere else, and never would have.
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin
It is hard to remain an optimist right now. I am trying not to let this downward slip on this roller coaster send my own emotions spiraling out of control, but it is hard. I just want to crawl into a hole and die right now.
I hope she wants to talk later.
Be her rock. Be there for her even if you're at a mall 10 miles away. Don't give up on her just because she's confused and hurting.
Tell her you will be here for her NO MATTER WHAT. And mean it. Live it.
This will help her, even if she doesn't start handing out cookies right away.
I wentup andasked if she wanted to talk, and she said no. I slipped a card under the door that I got her earlier.
This is not an ordinary trigger for her. She normally gets sad and asks more questions. I suspect that I am sleeping on the couch tonight, which is the first time since dday.
I wish that I could do something to help her through this trigger, but she is comp, etely shutting me out.
"Just as night is followed by day,so to your dark times will be followed by brighter days"