Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: DaveVP (44299)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Who is taking care of my kids?
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every year, The Princess' next door neighbour (previously my neighbour as well) spends weeks working on a big Halloween display on his front yard. He builds gravestones, zombies, lots of stuff. For the last couple of years, 10 has helped him build it.

The week after I moved out, he (let's just call him Fuckhead) showed up on her doorstep with a couple remote control helicopters for my boys. By the way, this guy has a wife, and two college-age daughters, and there have been rumours in the neighbourhood about him screwing around on his wife and pursuing other women.

A few days ago, Fuckhead asked The Princess if he could take my boys with him to the "Halloween store". The fucking idiot said yes!

Her justification: He wouldn't do anything with both boys there.

He gets them in the car, and starts pumping them for info: "Is your mom dating anyone?"; "Really, I wouldn't have thought a pretty woman like her would date him."; "How's your dad handling this?"; "He has depression? Want to know what I think of that? That's something that happens when you watch too many soap operas"; "See that strip joint? That's where we'll go next time."

The boys told me this today, and told me that they both thought he was an arsehole for making fun of my depression. Then 10 said, "And he's been texting me."

If I hadn't already been pissed off, that would have sealed the deal. I had a look at the texting app on 10's iPod, and the texts were pretty harmless-looking - just about when they were going to work on his yard next - but I still didn't like it. And most importantly, The Princess didn't tell me about any of this!

I had a talk with both boys, saying that if they ever get a text they are uncomfortable with - from anyone - they were to show it to me or their mom.

Phoned The Princess after she got the boys back to her place tonight, and discussed my worries. I told her that she needed to back me up on this, and we would tell 10 that there will be no more texting with Fuckhead. At first she asked if I couldn't just check his texts every time I have the boys. I told her that was not enough.

Finally she called 10 into the room, told him she was on the phone with me, and we don't want him texting Fuckhead anymore. 10 said okay, and that he would delete Fuckhead's contact info, as well as blocking him.

I asked her if she would just do a casual neighbourly chat with Fuckhead, and mention that "by the way", we don't let our kids text with adults. That would keep it casual and non-confrontational. She was unwilling to do that, and wanted me to. So then it becomes an angry, accusatory message from the jilted husband. Yeah, that'll make it better.

However, I AM willing to do something uncomfortable to protect my kids, so I sent him the following email:

Hey Fuckhead,

10 was telling me that he has been texting you. I just wanted to let you know that we don't let our kids text with adults - for everybody's protection. He has removed your contact info from his iPod.

Thanks,
Pass

The Princess called me back later to thank me for sending the email, and tell me she had a further talk with both boys. She told him that while we don't think Fuckhead is a molester, they will quite often elbow their way into a family when the dad has left, buy things for the kids, and spend extra time with them, and try to belittle their parents - so we're not taking any chances, and we're shutting this down.

Fucking finally, she took SOME action. Yet another GREAT side effect of her fucking everything that moves, I'm out of the picture in our neighbourhood, and we have to worry about predators.

Personally, I don't care anymore if she wants to spread her legs for everyone, but she needs to protect my kids!

I can't remember if I've mentioned to y'all how much I fucking hate her.

[This message edited by pass at 10:05 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1694 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
WakingFromADream
♂ Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is such a scary possibility. I'm glad that she is actually listening to your concerns and seems to be following through for now. I would be concerned that she would allow continued unsupervised contact with this neighbor. Just because the two of them were together means squat.


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks. Yep, I'm scared pissy about what/who else she might think is okay.

How was I ever so in love with this idiotic fucking woman?


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1694 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
WakingFromADream
♂ Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That would be a question I would bet money the majority in this section have asked ourselves.


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fuck me. WTF is wrong with these people. Who the FUCK discusses that stuff with kids? Who the FUCK texts other peoples kids?

How the fuck dare he....

Do you converse with his wife? I'd be filling her in on this.

How was I ever so in love with this idiotic fucking woman?

I know, right? Been there, done that - I've burned the T-Shirt.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5440 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is some scary shit.
Fuck her for being so clueless...what mother allows this???? Fuck her.

Thank god your kids have you, papa bear!!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SBB, I don't converse with any of the neighbours anymore. I've become the dirty little secret. All I have to take to her is some rumours and a weird conversation with my kids. I wish I had more (and knew something for sure); it would really do my soul good to rat out a cheating fucker.

Thanks, tesla. I'm doing what I can.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1694 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops! Double post.

[This message edited by pass at 11:19 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1694 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops! Triple post.

[This message edited by pass at 11:19 PM, October 27th (Sunday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1694 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is so creepy & wrong. Lord, it makes my alarms go off just like the Cake Man who bakes cakes for my kids. Too much attention from an adult towards little kids.

And yes, why do we have such stupid, stupid former spouses who have to be told that this is inappropriate? Why do we have to continue to do double duty?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9306 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dam bro these f--king people are sick! Our ex's should hang out together! I also do not talk to my "friendly" neighbor. Except I didn't tell my stbxww anything. I just told him to mind his f--king business and stay away from my kids! He didn't like that too much . He has been flirting with my stbxww for years and he is also married to some slob and has two kids. I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. I can bite my tongue and I could be a good boy when it comes to who stbxww is f--king but when it comes to my kids I do not hold back . Guess I have a long road ahead! Don't we all. Sucks Good luck brother.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 611 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
forlornheart
♀ Member
Member # 40726
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are a good father! Princess is either naive or very stupid.

I'm glad your kids have a strong and watchful papa bear.


Me: 48- BW
Him: 45-WH-chronic cheater, PA and EA
Current Her: Mid to late 30's fatassed, no necked, troglodyte
D Day: August 23, 2013
Separated: August 23, 2013


Posts: 52 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Michigan
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Something I've noticed is "friendly" people come out of the woodwork when they learn a once married person is now single. I notice this in many walks of life and some very surprising places, too.

I'm sorry for your anger, Pass, it's awful to have. It's the strangest kind of energy there is, IYAM (If you ask me) and not easy to get rid of.

And I notice with depression, (do any of you?) that I have badly, people tend to latch on and give another person that for their identity for a long time to come...like a label almost, or a thing to know about them.

I'm glad you stood up to Princess Arse-olella and told how you felt. It's not easy.

As expected, the XPervert has done this in a little bit different way with DD and then tells me "You are not being peaceful." One time a memo from his L came that "ExW needs to cooperate"...i.e., doormat.

I asked XPervert to keep a distance from our friends/neighbors, primarily single ladies to boot, but don't think he will. He can't get info on me if he stays away, right? It doesn't feel right, as you were thinking of Halloween Neighbor Man. I guess kind of like your swearing habit, I have a habit of naming everyone.

It's a little different from your issue, relative to neighbors...he did tell me he found one attractive (Bittersweet Boy's Mom, who can't stand him, lol) and she and I think it was a "dig".

I hope this will go by soon.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 13

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.