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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just went to our last dinner as a family.
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am pretty sure there is another A. Just need a few more details. We've had a horrible round and I never got true remorse and he has reneged on counseling again anyway and the verbal abuse persists, so this is it. I found out about the new OW this weekend during a family trip to the in laws. Next week I resurrect my filed divorce and finally have him served. He has no idea. During the walk in the boardwalk and the dinner I had times when I thought this family is worth anything, but I can't put up with both serial cheating and his ill treatment of me, however badly I wanted a complete family for our 15 month old. This has hot to be it, though it breaks my heart.

Tomorrow I gotta call OW and the court. Tonight I just want to cry.


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 941 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you're going through this.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1944 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Lyonesse
♀ Member
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs, CL. You are right, you cannot continue with the disrespect to you, but I know that doesn't make it any easier.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1795 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry cl, you and your baby deserve more. It sounds like you are setting out to provide that for you both now. Strength.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1296 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
vivere
♀ Member
Member # 34465
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((CL))

I can't put up with both serial cheating and his ill treatment of me

..and neither should you!

Abuse in any form is unacceptable. Sometimes they force our hands


You are responsible for your own happiness :)

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jan 2012
forlornheart
♀ Member
Member # 40726
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, October 27th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's actually a better time to get the divorce over as she's still very young. I know she will recognize his not around but she's just too young to grasp what's happenings. Can you image if you waited another 10 years or even 5? My stbx was a serial cheater as well, I stayed far too long. I just didn't respect myself enough or fear or maybe a combo of both.

Good for you sticking up for yourself.
I know it hurts, even with all I know I'm still hurt. I love the man I thought he was....but it was all a persona.

Get some counseling it will help.

Hugs!
Deb


Me: 48- BW
Him: 45-WH-chronic cheater, PA and EA
Current Her: Mid to late 30's fatassed, no necked, troglodyte
D Day: August 23, 2013
Separated: August 23, 2013


Posts: 52 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Michigan
thenon-goddess
♀ Member
Member # 31229
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry.

FWIW, I would call the court and not the OW. She'll just tip your husband off and fill you full of lies. Don't even give her the satisfaction.

(((CL)))


Status: divorcing
Typing on an iPhone - please excuse the typos!

Posts: 1244 | Registered: Feb 2011
msk99
♂ Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry to hear about this, I totally get the internal battle of doing whatever you can to maintain your family versus dealing with a serial cheater. You are not alone in this battle, heartbreaking for sure.

Stay strong!


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((careerlady)))) Sending you strength, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25389 | Registered: Aug 2011
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cl)))

Strength to you.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 754 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all.

Thenongoddess from the texts and one voicemail I've found she doesn't seem to know he's married. I could be wrong which is why I'm trying to capture more texts but if she's innocent she can be the final nail in the coffin. The previous OW was also unaware and we had a good (if painful) conversation


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 941 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Topic Posts: 11

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