Now, all I want to do is hang out with my husband. I don't want to get out of bed any day of the week because I'm too comfy lying in his arms. I would rather sit on the couch beside him with his hand on my leg than vacuum up after 4 dogs and 2 kids!

Yes, my house is a "total damn disaster area" and I could care less. My marriage is better than it has been in a very long time.

I will be hiring someone to clean for the holidays:-)

DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
NC-7/2011

My dog farted, startled himself, wondered where the noise came from. I wish my life was as simple.

And after our reconciliation when I rescinded divorce proceedings (before any clue about the A )my H suddenly woke up to the idea that housework doesn't do itself and pulled his finger out. Just a shame he didn't wake up when we had a house full of children and I was run ragged. But later is better than never.

I too hated the idea of staying in my house as he'd screwed fOW in his study. Then he came up with a fantastic solution - we've taken out the wall between his study and the hallway, turning it into a huge open landing space which we plan to cover with bookshelves and turn into a library. The space is completely unrecognisable as his former study,and along with the changes my awful feelings about that space have faded.

He had his affair in our home. I hate my house now. Can't wait to move...but don't want HER to run me out of my home. I want to move, but can't pull the trigger.

We also have a cleaning lady who comes every two weeks...that helps a lot.

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

I usually did most of the cleaning (including dishes) and WW did most of the cooking. Immediately after D-Day, the only thing that got done was feeding the cat. He's a furry guy who loses a lot of it in the spring. Our house was not only a mess, but a mess covered in cat fur.

At about three months I did a major clean up and then nothing for a while. We keep it somewhat neat now, but not nearly the way I used to obsess about tidiness before D-Day. WW leaves stuff everywhere, which used to drive me nuts. I don't care about that anymore.

I go in spurts. In the beginning, there were entire weekends that I spent two days in bed. SAfWH has begun to do things around the house. About time, he did virtually nothing while he was engaged in his "hobbies," but he just doesn't clean like I do. The cleaning/shopping/cooking is really secondary to what I do for ME. Learned that the hard way.

Self care should be the primary focus. As long as you are taking care of YOUR needs and those of your kids, don't worry about the dust. It will wait...

I could be cleaning now, but I have to check in at SI!

But it is also a good feeling that now... Even with some help from me he now realizes that I was extremely busy running the house, working and kids. Multi tasking to make our life easier!!!
One day I said, " You have been really trying hard since DDay to help in the house, but is this how our home looked prior to DDay? Meaning the laundry piled, floors not shining, clutter. He said no.. " I never realized how much you did? It really made him realize why I was tired at night. Prior to DDay he thought I was ignoring him. And that i enjoyed housework. As crazy as that sounds.

And it is funny how now I don't care at this point about certain household things. Not sure how this will be over the Holidays.

I used to be a Martha Stewart, OCD house keeper, but since DDay? I don't care. My house is basically a pig sty. And even though I am long divorced, it never came back. I just don't care.

There are bigger problems in the world than a messy house.

After 2 years of R, I finally had myself together enough to make a house cleaning schedule. Until then I just took care of things when they built up and had to be done.

Actually H started getting bothered by the lack of order. He started asking me if I could make a schedule. I was flabbergasted because pre-A I had all kinds of schedules (cleaning, meals, money making chores for children) which he did not help enforce. After the A, I was too emotionally exhausted to be the enforcer, so I just let things go. I'm still not gung ho about pushing the train uphill, but I have a little more energy to at least make a schedule.

I'm glad to know I am not the only one.
Thanks, everyone, for helping me feel like I'm semi normal. :)

I haven't been as diligent with cooking. Been buying a lot of pre made meals and meals that I do cook are very simple. Bills have piled up. Things have gotten done in the nick of time instead of well ahead. I'm procrastinating more. Definitely more chaos. I'm starting to dig my way out and take more control of things and streamline as much as possible.

I think I am doing really well for 7 months out from DD.

It is a shame how our lives have been so disrupted because of infidelity. Let me reword that: it is a shame infidelity happened at all, and turned our lives upside down.