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Newest Member: KingHit4Six (44888)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Have hope folks...
Shockleader
♂ Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like so many of us, D Day, the D process, fall out of the A and everything else nearly took the life from us it seemed... I know there were times I prayed to die, stuck in a place so dark, so painful, and bleak I really thought death was a great option.

Through the help of friends here at SI, IRL friends, others, and time, I am so much better, and a work in progress and generally hopeful. My toxic cheating WW is a non factor in my daily life, I now have a job, my own apartment, DD is off to university and doing well, and I even have a SO who is so kind, gentle, and loving to me... I am so happy when I am with her, and she tells me the same.

So many folks here will tell you it will get better, and it does! Perfect, NEVER, but what is? At this moment I AM HAPPY, and never thought I would be again. Chin up folks, and however you deal with your particular A situation, know it WILL get better. I'm grateful for so much, and wanted to tell my friends at SI THANK YOU for all of your help!

Sneaky shot from one of our weekend stops... I really dig her!


[This message edited by Shockleader at 9:36 AM, October 28th (Monday)]


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 652 | Registered: Sep 2012
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy for you.

Posts: 35063 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25258 | Registered: Aug 2011
Thefly559
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the hope brother !!!! happy you made it through


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 644 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think these posts are so important.

I remember WAY back when I was in the JFO forum. You know, when you feel like you will never-ever make it through?

Once in a blue moon, I would sneak a peek at the NB forum and it would give me so much hope to see people be on the other side!

I am sure there is some JFO newbie lurking about that will see your update. It will give them some reassurance that there IS life afterwards even if they are unable to comprehend it for themself at this point.

Thanks for sharing and congrats to you on your NB!


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2098 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
MakingLemonade
♀ Member
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sure there is some JFO newbie lurking about that will see your update.

I'm not a JFO newbie lurker, but a newbie nonetheless.

Thanks Shockleader for sharing your happiness beyond the chaos, especially for those of us who want proof it can be done.


Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great update TFS


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1331 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
missherlots
♂ Member
Member # 30591
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is the kind of movies I like.

with happy ending.

you own your Karma,

my two cents,


Pain and suffering is part of life, but I choose to feel love and compassion for all people excluding no one.

Posts: 96 | Registered: Jan 2011
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you!!

I really need to read this today, especially from someone who also gave over 20 years of their life to someone else.

So great to hear you are happy again!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yay! Thank you this is just what I came to this forum for - HOPE!


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 937 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Shockleader
♂ Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you very much everyone!

Yes, there is HOPE! There are many times in a persons life where tears are shed; I am so glad now for me they fall because of joy, gratitude and HOPE, not despair, the feelings of betrayal, and watching my family being destroyed by a monster... Best wishes to all that suffer... IT WILL GET BETTER!


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 652 | Registered: Sep 2012
broken2
♀ Member
Member # 16935
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(Standing up and applauding) Bravo Shockleader, Bravo!!!

I could have written the first part of your post word per word. I also could have written

I am so much better, and a work in progress and generally hopeful.

My point here is to also encourage the newbies. Listen to what Shockleader has said, it does get better!


So happy for you Shockleader!

[This message edited by broken2 at 12:17 PM, November 1st (Friday)]


Posts: 2036 | Registered: Nov 2007
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 4:49 AM, November 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is so wonderful! Thanks for sharing and we should have hopes!
I am over six months pass Dday, it does getting a lot better!


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Shockleader
♂ Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, November 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you broken2 and blackhair.

We just wrapped up another amazing weekend together full of laughs til you hurt, and a depth of kindness, caring and connective understanding I can hardly believe I am experiencing. It's simply remarkable.

Please any JFO people looking for hope in the complete black hole of despair, know that with or without a new partner after D, true R with the wayward, divorce as the only option, or as a single parent ripped apart by a monster, your life will GET BETTER! Peace and best of wishes to all.


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 652 | Registered: Sep 2012
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, November 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOVE this! Thanks for the updates!


Posts: 1689 | Registered: Oct 2011
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy for you Shockleader, but my hope is reaching an all time low.

I'm resigning myself to being single for the rest of my life. (sigh)

Not what I expected at this stage of my life.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6533 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Topic Posts: 17

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