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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: first post and wary
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have read on this section for months, starting and deleting posts because of a wariness that I may not be welcome here. Perhaps that is foolish but I see so many names here I don't see anywhere else and so much pain I'm not sure if a wayward would be welcome as well as a betrayed, madhatter or not. I'm going to try to get over that wariness now. SO and I are separated. After my A and his subsequent A he has admitted that I have made him feel safe while he has done nothing but continuously try to do damage to me. We are still living together while I try to get my money right and in the mean time I feel torn apart watching him get dressed up, cologne on and look good to go to a bar. It hurts like a knife to the heart to know he still talks to the woman he fell in love with 8 yrs ago and has loved throughtout our relationship (he says no but she gets mentioned as his biggest regret multiple times throughout the yrs...I think part of me always knew). She has a boyfriend now but how much do you care about him if meeting up with the man you once loved is worth it.

I'm working on me through all this too. Not sure what I'm looking for in this post. Maybe just a hello and a dipping of my toe into this part of site.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2379 | Registered: Oct 2012
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've seen a lot of your posts and can feel your pain radiating through them, while I can't speak for anyone else, I just wanted to say welcome to s&d and I'm here to offer support if I can. You have my admiration for being willing to take the risk of posting and working through your impending divorce and all the emotions surrounding it while still working on the issues that brought you to this site in the first place.


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi unagie! welcome to D/S. I've read a lot of your posts. I'm so sorry you're hurting, but I know you're doing the hard work to heal and change yourself. Don't ever forget that you are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 11988 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome, Unagie. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22656 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My only wariness about you is that you might post a picture of a spider here. I can't do spider pictures, not even in jest.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8783 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Unagie)))

I am here.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Unagie)))

Pain is pain. Finding your way through the current situation is what we are all here for.

I don't know that "welcome" is the right word. But take a seat, put your feet up and have a vent, a cry, hollar FTG! with the rest of us.

You will be okay.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5300 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ps, and a complete t/j - every time I see your username, I read it as the Un-Aggie. I think I've been in Texas too long.

(for those not in Texas or not into college football, the Aggies are Texas A&M)


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 11988 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the warm welcome .

Caregiver you're right pain is pain no matter what, I appreciate those words.

NG no worries, I keep my spider pics confined to F&G and I never expected that thread to take off lol, my cuteness thread only got 7 pages .

Inconnu my name is just a user name my brother came up with when I was 15 and we watched Friends with Ross saying unagie wasn't sushi, and was a state of total awareness.

Betrayedfriend, NIK, Thren thanks for the welcome.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2379 | Registered: Oct 2012
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unagie, welcome. Please feel open and comfortable to share. While this forum is primarily populated by the BS, that doesn't mean you aren't welcome. You will be supported.

So please pull up a chair at the table. Sip from the glass of compassion. Sample from the plate of experience.

Oh, and "unagie" is the Japanese word for freshwater eel. There is a special day in early summer where eel is served to give strength to suffer through the hot days to come. Interesting, eh?


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3055 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome, unagie. I always thought of the friends episode when I saw your name. Lol

Don't be shy- when I found SI, I was already divorced, so this was my first forum- kinda like home.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7031 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome Unagie!


BW,me - 46
STBXH - 47

Separated

When a person shows you who they are, believe them - Maya Angelou


Posts: 416 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all again for your welcome.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2379 | Registered: Oct 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A friend just FB'd me a funny spider meme and I thought of you. LOL


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8783 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG I actually snorted while laughing about that one lol.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.

Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.


Posts: 2379 | Registered: Oct 2012
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just FYI, Unagie. D/S is a *spider-free* zone. Just sayin'

Honey, you are totally welcome down here. Your WBF absolutely and totally meets the FTG criterion.

-----I canNOT believe that you are still living with this guy----****I'm passing you some of my armor*****


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCyL6pa_L4M


Posts: 7247 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've read your posts over at Wayward and always appreciated how you respond and supported other WS.

It was very brave of you to wander her to D/S so that says something about you. I'm sorry that you are here but you will be in good hands.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
I FINALLY GOT A COURT DATE: 5/29/14!!

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Oct 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome. We have quite a few madhatters in here.

An important distinction that can be lost sometimes is that we are anti Unremorseful WS, not anti-WS. The Wayward forum is pretty anti-Unremorseful WS too, BTW.

There's s BS fog too - that time where we are so busy feeling hurt and in shock that we tolerate an unbelievable amount of bullshit.

she gets mentioned as his biggest regret multiple times throughout the yrs...I think part of me always knew

^^THIS is emotional abuse. I would be very surprised if this wayward mindset didn't result in a PA with this woman or some other low-hanging fruit long you became aware of his cheating.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait! It's not Un-Aggie??

You're an SI member; you belong in any forum you chose (provided you're allowed ) Shit; I've been D for 2.5 years, no residual attachment to the X, but I'm here frequently.


I promise to surround myself with amazing souls and love them fiercely.

Posts: 19176 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unagie - you're remorseful and that makes a world of difference. You've done and are still doing the hard work on you. Personally, even if you weren't a MH, I'd be comfortable with you being on here,especially having read your posts in wayward.

But as a remorseful WS who was then betrayed, you also understand much of our pain.

I'm so sorry you're joining us here. ((hugs))


Sorry for my typos & editing, I have a sticky keyboard

Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse'
OW1 - EA - my friend
COW - EA/PA - 'Fat Bottomed Girl'

Thanking God for showing me how to smile & dance in the rain


Posts: 487 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 43
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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