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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: And so it begins
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So the Dooosh doesn't see or speak to our daughters. Neither one of the girls care to speak to him at this point so that's pretty much a moot point now.

I didn't think he'd do the same to our son- the golden child. The only child left who gives him the time of day (and much of it is because when he goes for visitation, we have a Disney Dad in full effect, but I digress...)

It's funny how their stripes never change, eh? Son was very upset last week. Called me at almost 9pm. From his dad's car. In a parking lot! My son is 10, and should have been home getting ready for bed, but instead he had spent much of the afternoon at the dooosh's office, and then the rest of the evening at the ball field so dad could play in a rec league of drunk, fat, old guys trying to pretend they are athletes.

My son was upset because he still had homework to do. Dad didn't care, refused to leave early. Father of the year! I was so sad for my little guy, but just kept trying to reassure him. He wanted me to call his teacher to tell her why it wouldn't be done.

He was stressed!

I cannot believe he has to play ball on the one weeknight he has his child. FTG.

When I woke up the next morning I had missed a text saying "goodnight Mom! Just finished all my homework. See you in the morning,"

It was 12:09 am.

And so it begins. He has told my son he can "stay with mom on Thursday if you want!"

When my son resisted, the dooosh practically insisted. Told him it was fine, they would see each other on the weekend. He will email mom to let her know.

Whatever. Dooosh.

I'm sure he has a date with his cow lined up. Hope he chokes on her all beef patties.

[This message edited by PurpleRose at 8:54 PM, October 28th (Monday)]


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3535 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's just fucked up! I'm pissed off for you and your kids. It may break your son's heart now, but may remove a lot of stress from his life if he doesn't see his dad on those nights.

It's a shame when the ten-year-old has to be the parent in the relationship.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1803 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sad for you and your children, PR. When the time comes (and surely it will) when your son no longer wants to visit ol' dad at all, ol' dad will find a way to blame you for the alienation. Because it most definitely won't be anything ol' dad did. It's a hard world for the children (of any age) to face when they realize they weren't a parent's priority. Give your son an extra hug each day: one from you and one from the father he'll eventually wish he had.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 450 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry PR. It's hard to imagine how a person can be so messed up that they can't even put their own children ahead of themselves for one damn day!


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A 10 year old sends you a text at 12:09am saying that he's just finished his homework??? WTF is wrong with Doosh? (rhetorical question).

However. Why couldn't your son have done his homework while he had that downtime of hanging out at Doosh's office and the rink?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7876 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
beachbunny
♀ Member
Member # 35476
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a hard world for the children (of any age) to face when they realize they weren't a parent's priority.

This.

But this is why we are here, yes?

To quote my IC

"Why are you shocked?"

(rhetorical here
)

[This message edited by beachbunny at 6:12 AM, October 29th (Tuesday)]


BS/WW: Me 43 WH/BH: Him 45 (badchoice)
Me: EA/PA 1997 DDay 5/99 (see profile)
Him: See his profile-15/16 y LTA
2DS:5 & 11 my loves
You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice.

Posts: 678 | Registered: Apr 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bless his little heart. Poor little guy - that makes me sick to my stomach.

Imagine being more of a grown up at 10 than your fuckwit of a father.

((PR & DS - DDs too))


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5527 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

a rec league of drunk, fat, old guys trying to pretend they are athletes.


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed

Posts: 586 | Registered: Mar 2003
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((DS))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24767 | Registered: Aug 2011
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBX is the same way about his 'church league' sports. (To bad the part about 'thou shalt not covet' didn't rub off) He actually arranged his visitation schedule around his recreation schedule.

Poor DS. It's gotta suck to realize his dad would rather play than be a parent. But this is what brought us all here to SI in the first place, a selfish person that puts themselves before others, even their family. Thank God DS has you!


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1626 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


However. Why couldn't your son have done his homework while he had that downtime of hanging out at Doosh's office and the rink?

This is one of those excellent questions that I just cannot answer. You (a general you) would assume many things here:
1. 10 year old can manage time wisely while with his dad.
2. The adult in charge was actually in charge.
3. The adult in charge had the forethought to make sure his son got his homework done early- knowing there wouldn't be time later.
4. Son had access to a computer to complete the work.
5. Disney Dad understands how time consuming son's homework load has gotten this year and doesn't leave it until 10pm!

Unfortunately those are a lot of assumptions. An most of them would probably not be true statements anyway....


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3535 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Topic Posts: 11

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