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User Topic: Another puzzle piece
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Helpless  Posted: 1:32 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am really down. I triggered hard over the weekend. My WH and I attended a Halloween party and we ran into his best friend and his new girlfriend. Well apparently this new girlfriend is someone my WH slept with before he met me. I give WH credit for telling me.

What is bothering me now is that I put 2 and 2 together of his past relationship. This girl he had sex with was during his relationship with his ex gf of 5 years

I am sick I had no idea. I do not know who he is. The man I thought he was never existed and it just keeps getting worse and worse

I know it's the past, but it proves to me that he has always been a cheater and here I thought he was the most kind and gentle man, my best friend who protected me. I was his princess and it turns out I ended up being with just another typical asshole. Just took 17 years to fucking see it

Am having a really bad time and my depression is taking a nosedive and I'm on meds. I don't want to get stuck in my depression again or anger.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
selkiescot
♀ Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry Crazyblindsided.All of this really sucks. (((((hugs))))


The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1379 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What this shows you is that he has cheated before..he has probably cheated in some form in nearly every relationship he has ever had. This "new" information shouldn't surprise you. It is just more confirmation that his cheating,his lying,his cruelty, is all about him. It has nothing to do with you. it never did.

This is who he was.

Who is he now?

Is he remorseful? Is he changing? Is he helping you through your triggers?

Who is he now?

((((((((crazyblindsided))))))))


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7259 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is who he was.

Who is he now?

Is he remorseful? Is he changing? Is he helping you through your triggers?

Who is he now?

He is better now. I can see he gets it now in everything he says and does.

I know I shouldn't be surprised I just feel jipped like I bought the wrong item. I guess that's how most of us feel at times.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for talking me down...I was beginning to shutdown, still am. I was doing so well... ugh


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Aurora773
♀ New Member
Member # 35394
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH cheated on me when we were dating, living together, engaged, etc. I wish I had known. According to him, he thought marriage would stop the behaviors. He stayed faithful for 2 1/2 months after our wedding day.

That said, people can change with a huge amount of effort and figuring out why. In time, his actions will show you if he truly gets it. I hope he's doing all the hard work for you and your marriage. ((crazyblindsided))


Me (BS): 42
WH: 40
3 young kids
Ddays: Way too many to list

Posts: 17 | Registered: Apr 2012
Topic Posts: 6

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