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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Lawyers
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondering how long, roughly, people wait in between hearing from a lawyer before questioning it's the right one?

I've been quite a long while without hearing from L -and have asked things -and have court coming up in the winter with nothing more done in preparation since summer.

I know they put it on hold for a time, for the baby, but now he is weeks in between and his phone was connected, to boot!

X is up to shenanigans again and I am kind of worried-more than usual.

I don't do well with this kind of thing, though have changed things like doctors. Do I have to tell L if I change, or will a new one if I do it?

If you already filed, do they often ask for a retainer?

Thanks for any thoughts. it's been very bothersome.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Around where I live they always ask for a retainer. Some will let you have a payment plan.

Sometimes you can get a free or very inexpensive initial consultation.

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I learned the hard way to stay on top of my lawyer. My first one, I just trusted she knew WTH she was doing. Instead she totally dropped the ball. I could have gotten a summary divorce (or whatever they're called) back in March 2012 if she'd been worth her fee. Instead she did nothing and fed me a pack of lies. My D was dropped from the court calendar due to inaction. Not only am I out thousands of $$$ for her useless fees, but I'm out thousands more because I spent living expenses money she told me STBX would reimburse me for, but he's refused and now I can't make him pay.

Don't let your lawyer think you're just a quiet, docile little mouse.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9317 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The XPervert is starting to change his tune and I suspect it's Fatty B pressure. His behavior fluctuates and that's the suspicion.

I'm worried as the hearing gets closer and I don't hear from him that I'll be blind going in and refuse. At first he was spot on and had empathy also, which helped.

But now is nothing and not answering questions that are important for myself and kids.

I've tried asking social services and they said he needs to answer, so I feel trapped there, too.

I am hopeful after hearing you stories about better turnouts. I've spent thousands on this already and have sometimes barely sent a message and he slams me with a bill.

One thing that stood out. The day the baby was born? I got a bill.

Granted I asked the week before what my balance was, but geez!!!

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Switching lawyers is not always good, it is like changing auto mechanics. It is not easy to take over someone else's job that was started. But I do understand your frustration. There should be communication from lawyer often , or at least a response! If not then make sure all your communication is in email form so you have a trail! You are the customer and you are in control. Speak up and do not let them make your final decision. Let them advise and guide and give legal translation , but the ultimate decision making needs to be you! If you are not happy , just like any relationship you should communicate. If things are bad and nothing changes and the lawyer screws up , then move on , but do not second guess yourself. All the best

"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 612 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Topic Posts: 5

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