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Newest Member: gggirl (44964)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Stbx is just such a *treat* to deal with....
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have 2 dogs. One of them is DS14's dog and goes where DS goes. So if DS is with stbx, then so is that dog. The other dog is with me. Always. It's as if stbx has brain-wiped the dog's existence.

Info: whenever I have the kids, stbx *jets* out of town. He's gone. This coming weekend is *his* weekend with the kids.

I get a text from him asking if I can take DS14's dog one night this weekend. I ask why and he responds that he wants to take the kids out of town and hotels don't allow dogs.

My response was that my main problem with agreeing to do that was that the *favor* wasn't likely to be reciprocated......

His response: "then fuck off"

Alrighty then.
Enjoy your weekend kicking around your house with your kids.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8007 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


FTG times 10.

I bet the people in your town are shaking their heads at the arrogance, stupidity, and meanness of that man and wondering how in the hell you are so dignified through this whole ordeal.



Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2677 | Registered: Jan 2010
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an ass.
It is very likely that the hotel DOES allow pets, but he doesn't want to pay the extra fee.

Not. Your. Problem!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, alrighty then is right. He might as well just hold the sign: "One Way".

FTG


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4113 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a charmer. How can you resist that kind of sexy talk?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9674 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:19 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG ~ you write some funny ass shit!!

gonnabe2016 ~ what a fucking loser.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2201 | Registered: Oct 2012
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't you regret refusing to help out such a sweet and deserving man? How do you sleep at night?

Let me guess...much better now that the mean dumbass is no longer a daily part of your life.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alrighty then.

He sure showed you.

How inappropriate. Dude, I'm not your wife anymore.

The sad clown recently sent me a request to pay my portion of an activity for my 3 year old for 3m prior. I wasn't aware she was still doing this activity (the fuckwit pulled them out of swimming lessons which are REALLY hard to get into - without consulting or informing me).

Our agreement states we split 'agreed' extra curricular expenses.

I am happy to pay it and I responded with the first line asking for his account number then the second line I stated that I reserve the right to not pay for future activities where I have not agreed to the expense prior.

I didn't do this to yank his chain - I didn't want to set a precedent that I would pay when I had not agreed prior.

He has a mantrum with a snarky response basically saying forget about it, accompanied by little jabs to goad me. He got crickets. You need better bait.

My first thought was 'how inappropriate' and my second thought was 'er, OK. I guess you showed me. Nice one'.

They don't seem to get it that we don't want them to play nice. Just be invisible, be flexible when you can and don't be a dick about every.single.fucking.issue.

If this is a favour I might need reciprocated one day I would have agreed to take the dog on the proviso that he agree to reciprocate. One time he is a jackarse about it and all bets are off. No more favours.

I'm very flexible with the sad clown when I can be but that is largely because I get to spend more time with my girls. He seems to follow suit but for a few mantrums thrown in when I don't do exactly what he says when he says it.

I guess that is to be expected when all of your 'friends' and your girlfriend are your subordinates at work. It makes him crazy when someone has their own mind. laugh:

I 'aint your wife, bitch. I 'aint your employee either. Wrong fucking window, loser.

[This message edited by SBB at 6:12 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5559 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting how his first instinct whenever he needs help is to ask you for it. Or maybe typical is a better word. And his temerity in asking for help, because seriously dude, can you say plumber?


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3091 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alrighty then.

You need better bait.

I 'aint your wife, bitch. I 'aint your employee either. Wrong fucking window, loser.

And his temerity in asking for help, because seriously dude, can you say plumber?


So much gold.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25369 | Registered: Aug 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And.....Round #2.

The husband of DS' therapist was in a car accident yesterday and she's not available to work with DS after school today. So I need to make other arrangements for him since I don't get home from school until 5. So I shoot stbx a text asking if DS could hang with him today until I get home and he replied that he couldn't do that because he was working. Ok. No harm, no foul. So as I'm sitting here, thinking of who to call next.....I get this long-ass text from him:
"Look, i don't like what is going on between us legally. i feel like you will use most any situation to make me look bad and to get you more money. I have lost all respect for you and now understand how you could treat me the way you did for so long. From now on, lets just not ask why or question motives. If you can do my request fine. If not fine. And i will do the same. No more shots or questions would work best for the long haul. I find you dispicable(sic) and vice versa. That is now noted."
[And then another one where he (finally) told me about a large sum of money that he had moved recently (without mentioning it to me)....so apparently stbx has spoken to his L recently.]

So he says "no more shots"....followed immediately by calling me despicable. I guess *that* doesn't count since he added the "vice versa" which added *me* to the "shot" throwing?

He's being incredibly hostile because he's pissed off about the *man-made* divorce laws. Heck, if I were in his shoes, I'd be damn thankful that those *men* declared our state a No-Fault zone.....

Anyway....."one way" -- yep, very much so. It's funny because I remember years and years ago (may have even been before we were married), we got into an argument and he accused ME of being *one way*. "There's only one way with you. You're way. I'm gonna start calling you One Way" is what he said. He was a Sony projector even way back then. Compromise and cooperate without anger and resentment aren't a part of his repertoire.

SBB -- totally reasonable of you to include the reminder that he needs to check with you about activities. It's in your agreement, for heaven's sake. My stbx is like yours -- he gets angry about having to run things by me. He doesn't want to *answer* to me about anything. He wants to be able to do whatever the fuck he wants to do.....while basically acting as if I don't exist.
I walk a fine line with *helping* him out because of that reason and the *one way* one that I stated earlier. I can *help* him out on 5 things, and if I can't help on the 6th....then I'm a selfish, greedy bitch who is a bad mom and my goal in life is to *punish* him yadayada......

Don't you regret refusing to help out such a sweet and deserving man?

^^^That's kinda the kicker here. I hadn't even answered him yet.

seriously dude, can you say plumber?


I had forgotten about that until you mentioned it.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8007 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must be nice to have him continually validating that your decision to divorce him was the right one.


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1473 | Registered: Nov 2010
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must be nice to have him continually validating that your decision to divorce him was the right one.

Yes, it is very helpful.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8007 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a douche!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4780 | Registered: Feb 2008
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have lost all respect for you and now understand how you could treat me the way you did for so long.


There seriously is a handbook! Word for word!!

My response back when I wasn't so good at NC was "what you think of me matters less to me than you might imagine". As true then as it is now.

In my mind I said: No matter how hard you try, fuckwit - no matter how 'badly' you think you're treated in S/D, nothing - and I mean nothing takes the stench away from you.

You are a liar, a cheater, a fraud and you have zero integrity. Everyone knows this. You do too.

Demonising me does nothing to change this. Keep running from your own shadow, loser. It is as funny as hell.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5559 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 15

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