What do I do? Talk and just try to ride through it? The stress is all non A stuff but yet it seems to bring it all back to the surface. Is this normal? Ugh, I hate this!!!!! January can't come soon enough. :(
Finally this is R 8/14/13
"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".
I try to be real honest with myself as to the source of the new stress and work on that. Lists, break it down to manageable bites, stay in solutions instead of problems. It helps a little. I don't know if its your thing, but I pray.
"Knowing is half the battle"
Expecting progress not perfection
Money is extremely tight and I am working a lot with split days off.
All things that were going on while as he began his affair. It scares that crap out of me. So sometimes I check to make sure things are on the up and up. (Which helps build the trust factor when I find nothing) I also make sure to say I love you lots and just chat with him whenever possible to make sure he is okay with everything.
SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!
So, yeah, when big stressors come along, it's inevitable.
I also seem to get more upset when I have PMS. I guess that in is a stressor as well.
[This message edited by Ambergray at 12:47 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]
"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
H is doing what he can but he's at work and that's only so much.
Sending big hugs. I hope the next 2 months fly by.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
I agree with Chicho here; it helps to not dwell, and stay focused on problem-solving the things you may have control over.
So if I have a very stressful week at work, that gets 'dumped' into the same 'bucket' that already holds the A stress, and it can churn up /overflow and become overwhelming. If I get pissed off because of something that happens on the drive home, that anger goes into the same bucket where the A anger is, and so on.
Her point in telling me this was to illustrate that while scenarios may be totally unrelated, my response(s)to them / the effects they have are and can be. Because we're not wired to keep trauma segregated by event; it all hits the same raw spots..
So when I feel myself getting stressed, angry, etc. I try my best to step back and really look at WHAT exactly is going on that has me upset. Like Chicho said, "be honest as to the source of the new stress and work on that".
I don't know if I've made any sense, or been helpful.I hope i have been. What I do know is I understand how you feel. ((((((Princess))))))
Divorce final 2/10/14.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.