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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The day after the first date
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((SSM))) I had this situation a few weeks ago. Great date, chemistry, I thought, a little kissing action, asked me out again, talked after I got home. Then nothing. I sent him a hi text the next day, he responded hi and then nothing again. It's so frustrating and confusing. Why say you want to see me again if you don't? I don't understand people sometimes.

I hope you hear from him, but if not, I bet someone better is around the corner.


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the "busy" is usually an excuse. Unless you're a brain surgeon with back-to-back cases you can spare a few secs to text.

That's what that guy says in the book "He's just not that into you" and I quote:

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt

I went on a 1st date with a medical doctor that poofed on me.... he didn't have ANY problem texting me and calling me ALL DAY LONG while he worked.... until the day after our date. Then, suddenly he was gone. Its a cowardly way to be but it is the harsh reality of dating today. He acted like he had fun, acted completely "IN" to me, asked me on another date and even planned where we would go (some fancy restaurant downtown) and talked about other things we could do in the future, and still poofed. I just don't get it.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:58 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly-this is exactly why i quit OLD-it was the same thing over and over. I was tired of the BS and games. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do-or say-etc.


Occasionally I go back anonymously to browse and guess what? These guys are STILL on there- a year or 2 or more. IDK what they're looking for-and apparently they don't either


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1753 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SSM - did you ever hear anything from this guy?


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7769 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Occasionally I go back anonymously to browse and guess what? These guys are STILL on there- a year or 2 or more. IDK what they're looking for-and apparently they don't either

So true....anytime I get curious and reactivate my account just to see who is out there.....its the same guys.... which I find slightly disturbing.... IMO


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
stupidstupidme
♀ Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope. Guess he was really "BUSY"

I'm disappointed, but I'll live. I've come to realize that if this is the way people are going to be, good riddance early on... save me trouble later.

I will not attempt any more contact, and at this point, I'm not sure I'd even respond if I did hear from him. It's rude, and a big pet peeve of mine.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19732 | Registered: Aug 2006
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”

I will reiterate this! ^^^^

YOU deserve SO much better! FTG! No one is that busy! Grrrrrr


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was just checking in for an update. I am sorry he has not called.

But just stand clear for bigger and better things!


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2181 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He sounds like an ass. I think it's time to next his ass and move onward and upward my friend!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 4:40 PM, November 7th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry SSM. Even though it was only one date, it's hard to have your hopes up and be let down like that.


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
LearningToRun
♀ Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But I know that at least for me, every time I tried to force things, and worried about what the other person thought all the time, and worried if he would call or not, and.... well, you know the drill.... I found that I was usually working too hard at something that was never going to work in the first place.

This, Yes, this is so true. And forcing things delayed something better from happening. good riddance. You've wasted enough on him. If he aint chasing, he isnt worthy.

Posts: 274 | Registered: Feb 2011
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an ass!

I went on an OLD date once. The guys seemed soooo in. We seemed to really click. The conversations flowed so easily. We almost closed the restaurant down. Then. Nothing. Poof. What a fucking coward.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What book is helping thru this time in my life is "Why Men Love Bitches". It's really an excellent guide to not muddle thru dating, but how to keep our focus on us and stay centered while dating again.

It is the only book I have actually purchased recently and read cover to cover several times. It's the kind of book you can open up to any page and read there....


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2215 | Registered: Jan 2012
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went on an OLD date once. The guys seemed soooo in. We seemed to really click. The conversations flowed so easily. We almost closed the restaurant down. Then. Nothing. Poof. What a fucking coward.


This seems to be a recurring theme in OLD


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1753 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Topic Posts: 34
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