So...yeah, I'm surprised, but I'm triggering a bit over the JFO post about monogamy.
Across the board when our spouse cheats on us, they made a choice to no longer be monogamous against our consent, I'm pretty sure you would all agree. Hell, my husband did it multiple times.
I remember asking him a. If he could be monogamous and b. If he wanted to. He said yes to both.
Now, we are firmly in R. But every so often something triggers me. Last Feb we were flying home from my father's funeral. I had talked to my sister in a joking way about the one time I smoked pot like 15+ years ago with an ex and how sex seemed to last forever. Not that it was good, just lasted long because I was high. It triggered my husband. Talking about an ex. He thought I was saying I missed being single, blah blah. I don't, I didn't. But it made him cry later on, him thinking about me being with someone else. Just the thought.
How is that fair? He goes and has affairs for 5 years and never considers what it would do to me. He threw monogamy down the toilet. Yet just the thought of me pining for an ex (I wasn't) brings him to tears.
I asked him today, did he ever think of asking me yo have an open marriage so at least I could live by the same standards as him? I wouldn't have, I was just thinking out loud. He says no, never.
So basically it was okay for him to cheat repeatedly, but he couldn't even handle the thought of me with someone else.
How is that fair???
I'm ranting, I know. Its just a trigger. I have zero desire to cheat or be in an open marriage. This is only about his minset, that's it.BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking