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Newest Member: feelostandlonely (45327)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Getting a cat and naming it after OW
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So when people ask you why you named your cat, X, you will tell them the reason?

But this....

I would quote Sall's entire post but here is the best from that post, IMO,

I vote for doing whatever it takes to make the AP a non-factor in your life. This doesn't sound like an approach that will help get you there.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

During false R, I went to a new hair salon. I hadn't been washing my hair much, was depressed, confused, zombie like, and 8mos overdue for a cut. While driving, I saw it, and went in. This woman was so nice and gave me the best haircut of my life. Think tv makeover show type of awesome change in haircut/style. When I went to leave she gave me her card. Yep....same name as OW. I sat in the car and decided I was taking the name back. Amazing haircuts slowly starting being the association with the name.

About 3 weeks ago the school set DD up with a HS honor student to tutor her. Same name. Not one trigger.

At the end of the day, you need to do what is right for you, the cat, and your family. This fuzzy ball of kitty cuteness will depend on you. Worst case if you can't handle it, you change the name.

What about naming it a name that is similar?

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:57 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 35824 | Registered: Mar 2011
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey SMY

..they did their 'dirty deed' in it for the whole year. I still trigger every time i see one, and it doesn't even have to be that specific model... any fucking Mustang, any year, any colour is enough to set me off.. and there are millions of them on the roads..

How about a red convertible Mustang? Thats what the OW had. I so wanted to beat one with a baseball bat!!


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rename the OW in your head. I have heard some very creative ones on SI, have several myself. I have to truly think hard to remember their given names. Fewer triggers because these nicknames aren't likely to show up on primetime...


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3648 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Bigger
♂ Member
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In a sense it’s appropriate to name a pussy after OW.
Now… what pet would I have to get to name after OM? A pet-snake?


"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 5565 | Registered: Sep 2005
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ LOL Bigger I wanted to say something similar

Good call


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3845 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smy and karmahappens,

..they did their 'dirty deed' in it for the whole year. I still trigger every time i see one, and it doesn't even have to be that specific model... any fucking Mustang, any year, any colour is enough to set me off.. and there are millions of them on the roads..

My trigger car is a GMC Safari, which has so many other cars that look exactly the same. She was driving it when I caught her going to my husbands work and I later found out they had sex in it too. Disgusting.

Like you two I trigger every time I see a car even remotely like it, no matter the color. I also trigger when I even see a dark green car,which was the color of her van.

So when people ask you why you named your cat, X, you will tell them the reason?

I don't know what I would say, probably that it was just a name I picked. I don't think anyone would really need to know why I named the cat that.

I vote for doing whatever it takes to make the AP a non-factor in your life. This doesn't sound like an approach that will help get you there.

While I do understand what you both mean by that I kind of see it differently; this is part of my life now, for the rest of my life, and I don't want to trigger when I hear that name, I don't want it to be akin to a cuss word, so finding a new and more pleasant association with the name is the best I can think of.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Might be less risk to get a stuffed cat and light it on fire.

Or, just a fish.

I could never have done this because again, it would have forced me to elevate her to an actual status of existence. And she doesn't exist.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6548 | Registered: Jan 2011
Gman1
♂ Member
Member # 40879
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One day I am going to buy some hunting dogs and one of the males is going to be named after the OM. I have already planned this out. I'm not sure I would name a family pet after the OM because I wouldn't want to say that name daily. It may be more appropriate for livestock or a hamster.

Posts: 255 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

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