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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Are the inconsistencies worth the pain?
Opheliapain
♀ Member
Member # 33596
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After 2 1/2 years after DD I finally got a timeline from my FWS. His affairs went from meeting women in bars, to answering personal ads, to sleeping with them.

I knew that he met the women he slept with on Craigslist and he led me to believe that is where he met the women he went out of dates with also. I remember asking why the dates didn't want sex but every woman afterwards did. He said it must have been willing to cross the boundary at the time. That never made sense to me. Casual Encounters is having sex. period.

In the timeline it shows he had a OKC account and that is how he met the women he went out of dates with. Now the information did not change but he did keep from me that he had an OKC profile. He never gave me a lot of details until I got the timeline.

Is this a new DD or am I being over sensitive? I have no idea what anything is anymore and I am floundering.


Me - BW 38
Him - WH 33
Don't fuck with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo!
DD - 3/28/11

Posts: 177 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are the inconsistencies worth the pain?

If a timeline is truthful, it will likely contain new details.

If the truth is painful, take a metaphorical step back and take a literal deep breath.

Is this a new DD or am I being over sensitive?
Some count new revelations of old betrayals as Ddays; others only count "new partners" as Ddays.

Since I'm a lot further out than you, may I make a gentle suggestion?

Thank him for the timeline; thank him for his honesty (i.e. reward good behavior). Also tell him that you need time to digest the facts, and that you'd like to discuss the new revelations when you can do so without great emotion.

Also tell him that you need XYZ -- hugs, foot massage, warm cocoa, dinner out, whatever -- if you think it will help ease your pain.

(((Opheliapain)))


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
Opheliapain
♀ Member
Member # 33596
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I'm just sad and scared. I need booze. I'll let him know right now. :)


Me - BW 38
Him - WH 33
Don't fuck with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo!
DD - 3/28/11

Posts: 177 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're welcome! Have a glass of red for me...


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
Topic Posts: 4

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