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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 9 months after d-day
hurtingarmywife
♀ New Member
Member # 38690
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow will be 9 months since d-day. We are at a great place now in our marriage thanks to a wonderful therapist. It has been a very difficult path I never thought I would find myself on, but did.
Just curious if anyone else's WS talked about the reason of staying in the A was because they felt trapped. My WH said he had sex with the OW the first time they went to dinner and then he felt like a wild animal caught in a trap. She also, made threats constantly to tell me and the military, which she did. She lived up to her threats because I guess that was the only way she knew to keep a man. He has been punished severly with the military. He told them the truth, he said he couldn't handle any more lies. But, when he talks about the 5 months he was with her, he says it was awful and I do believe him. He finally, broke it off and told me everything.He says she took him to the pit of hell and I pulled him out. Now he is a new man and is so happy and working very hard on treating me the way I deserve. So grateful! Just curious if any other WS felt the same way, wanted out but felt trapped.

[This message edited by hurtingarmywife at 6:23 PM, October 30th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 36 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: midwest
SoVeryTired5
♀ Member
Member # 40931
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH told me he didn't know how to end things with the OW when things started to slow down in the A. He was worried that she would try contacting me to tell me about the A. I don't know whether or not I believe he ever would have ended the A himself (if he even wanted to). It didn't end up mattering because I discovered their emails to each other.


Me: BS
Him: WH (iAmAMess0809)
Together: 7 years, married 5
Two children: 4yo, 1yo
DDay 4/30/13 EA, TT
Full disclosure of EA/PA 10/11/13

Posts: 67 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
UKlady
♀ Member
Member # 39058
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes - my WH was in a very similar position. He never wanted it to start but once involved he was terrified of her and her threats (she said she would commit suicide and did attempt it - only her word for it though, she also threatened to contact my family members and me and tell them - she did this on Dday through Facebook). He went there the once, found himself in a really bad position that he couldn't get out of and then, on going back twice more to try to end it she 'forced' him into sex with her (I find this so, so difficult to understand sigh.....).

My WH has also worked hard, as has yours, to become a new person who is safe and dependable. However, it won't stop us hurting as we struggle to get through this.


Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Herkemeyer
♂ Member
Member # 36910
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW miraculously came to her senses and "broke it off" with her OM just minutes prior to being caught. I love coincidence.

[This message edited by Herkemeyer at 7:22 AM, October 31st (Thursday)]


BH-43
(F?)WW-39 (neznayou)
DDay-08/10/12 TT for 18 Months (I think)
Married 19 years

Posts: 133 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Colorado
Topic Posts: 4

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