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Newest Member: Summerrains (44694)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: They are getting shitty on me
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm angry for you! Sounds like he got "snipped" in court on Tuesday so he needs to feel like a man/ in control some how. How dare he use teslet as a pawn!

You have been doing a wonderful job of protecting teslet from all the crazy. I know it wears you out. Sending you strength


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 641 | Registered: Jan 2012
osxgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh.... sounds like we have a little mantrum going on.

Do you have the parenting guidelines/custodial agreement/whatever legal documents are appropriate in electronic form? If not, I would scan them in.

And then, although ignoring as much as possible is the best thing here, you could just highlight the appropriate area in the guidelines/agreement for whatever mantrum he is currently throwing, and e-mail it to him.

I know you are up to handling all this crap from them, but it still sucks!

(((((Tesla)))))

[This message edited by osxgirl at 6:38 AM, October 31st (Thursday)]


Posts: 2389 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tesla)))Stay strong sister.

Try to keep in mind that he is just like a bad kid that has never heard the word no. It takes continuous consistent same responses about a million and one times to finally get them to realize that No means No, and you are going to follow the rules, no more, no less.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8194 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((TESLA))))))


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 726 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strength to you, tesla. ((((hugs))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24999 | Registered: Aug 2011
smile_it_helps
♀ Member
Member # 17569
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate to say this because I know how awful he is and how important it is for you to stand up to him but...It's Halloween and Teslet probably would really like to trick or treat at 5 with his best friend. 6 is a late start. :(

Could you text or email saying that he is dead wrong on asking for him early but for Teslets benefit you will allow him to have him an hour early. Or you could bring him at 5:00 and you take him out with his best friend from 5 to 6 and then let him meet you wherever you are trick or treating at 6. Then you hae the fun hour and he gets the cranky, tired, sugar laden kid.

I'm just thinking of Teslet. He doesn't need Halloween to be a tug of war and you know your ex doesn't give a shit. It's all about him.


me bs
him fws
19 years
OW was my best friend
2 amazing kids
finding happiness again
separation 12/27/07
let him come back 3/25/08
Just had our 25th anniversary.

Posts: 382 | Registered: Jan 2008
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't let him bully you. He's an absolute asshole.

Posts: 1654 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's Halloween and Teslet probably would really like to trick or treat at 5 with his best friend. 6 is a late start. :(
Asswipe Tool's parenting time starts at 6pm. If Tesla is able, she and Teslet can go to a few houses in her neighborhood for an hour or two before the 6pm start time.
Asswipe Tool does NOT get to bully her into dancing to his tune.
No.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6354 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just my opinion, but 6 pm is not too late a start for halloween. Peabrain ex may make a big deal out of "too bad you didn't get to go around with your best friend," but then he's bound to say something knuckleheaded regardless.

Sigh. So sorry you have to deal with this.

Hope he takes you to court...


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 853 | Registered: Sep 2012
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally expected some backlash.

He and SW can't go waltzing into court looking like they wore their Halloween costumes a few days early, lose (and we know he will) and just slink back into their hole.

Nope. They've got to play hardball and put Teslet in the middle, because that's what chicken shit cheaters do.

Stay your course. Take him for an hour elsewhere - or - YOU contact his BFF's parents and do the first hour with them.

Then Soooper Dad! can have him for his court appointed, scheduled visitation.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21041 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Inquiring minds want to know.... Did stripper whore dress up like a Slutty Slut or a Slutty Whore?


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17606 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Inquiring minds want to know.... Did stripper whore dress up like a Slutty Slut or a Slutty Whore?

I'm wondering if she could put a mini stripper pole on wheels (like a medication bag pole in the hospital) and roll it around the neighborhood. Would be perfect for Trick or Treat. She could offer the parents both options.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9502 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I better start looking for a new school for him because he fears it is inadequate.

Tesla,

Doesn't your decree state that you make all decisions regarding where he goes to school?

Sorry he is making you go through all this drama.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3406 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not concerned about the school thing...the only thing he can really do is stop paying his portion of tuition. The school is 'inadequate' because they won't release Teslet to his stripper or to him any longer because we've reverted to the standard visitation schedule.

So I got caught in texting back and forth with him over the pick up time and this crap about him keeping Teslet overnight on Sunday.

He kept saying "stop interefering with my visitation rights"

I finally reminded myself that this idiot is an utter moron and CANNOT be reasoned with. (Why the fuck do I think he will behave differently???? He's shown me who he is...I need to start treating him like that person.)
So I texted

You misunderstand this [the sunday overnight thing]. I will have my lawyer send you clarification regarding this. We will meet you at my place by 5. There is no interference as I read the guidelines, but feel free to have your lawyer refer these interference allegations to my lawyer.

So, Teslet and I go out for an early dinner. At 4:20 stripper whore calls. She is at my house waiting to pick Teslet up. Oh no, I say, there must be a misunderstanding, the pick up time is 5:00.

Don't you fucking love how *I* am interfering with his visitation rights and he's sending her to pick Teslet up? Anyway, Teslet is expecting dad to pick him up...so disappointment again for him. As we were getting out of the car at 4:58, he says to me - "Mom, why didn't you let dad help you build my swingset?"
I said, "Because your dad doesn't live here. When dad wants to build you a swingset, he will build you one at his place and it will be very nice of him to do that. I won't help him build that swingset because I don't live there."
Teslet says, "Stripper-whore says that you are mean because you wouldn't let daddy help you."

I say, "Well, what do you think about that?"
Teslet: "I told her that was a rude thing to say and that you are not mean."
Sigh, time for another play therapy appointment. This shit is not going to get better.
I thanked him but told him that he doesn't have to stick up for me. That sometimes people say rude things but he and I knew the truth. I'm not sure what else to say to it.

Oh -- and stripper whore was dressed as one of those sluts from the pirates of the carribean. I assume ex-shat is masquarading as captain jack sparrow.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4608 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Teslet: "I told her that was a rude thing to say and that you are not mean."

I'm glad he didn't let her get away with that. Sad that S-W is putting your sweet boy in that position.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2253 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tesla. you might want to consider keeping a copy of your decree on you at all times. If he ever accuses you or involves the police in a custody issue, the police will read and respond to the legal document.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2636 | Registered: Jan 2010
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any active advice, but wanted to say you are not alone here. The XPervert has suddenly become very, very bold and I finally learned that he is shacked up with OW, minimum. My semi-worry is them thinking they could "provide" for DD as they would be "duel" and I would be "one".

There has been similar bullying that you have and it's terrible.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2197 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I am so sorry that you're going through this. It's never enough for them-- they blow apart their families, leave behind all manner of wreckage, seemingly get what they want (AP stays with them, less responsibility because they walk away from the kids and home), and yet... they STILL want more.

I hate these remorseless XWSs who just can't stop their craptastic behavior. Sending hugs to you and your little man.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3572 | Registered: Oct 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tesla, Crysallis is right, keep a copy of your decree and the state guidines. From experience, if the police are called they will refer to the legal document.

I am so glad teslet stood up for you. It shows his integrity.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5014 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fuck me sideways, tesla.

You and I have been through his shit before. He has a second wind right now but he will run out of steam. He'll get used to the fact that he has lost. It's all about acceptance, innit.

Fuck you, stripperwhore - one day this beautiful little boy will know exactly what you are. He is already smarter than you. As a mother to another - shame on you for trying to fuck with him. Fuck.you. You are an affront to the sisterhood and to the motherhood.

My semi-worry is them thinking they could "provide" for DD as they would be "duel" and I would be "one".

@Ash, This fear is unfounded - please don't even entertain it. Two fuckwits don't outrank one mamma in any way, shape or form.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5533 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 47
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