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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just found out Again
WaWaNJ
♀ Member
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I removed myself as a choice.

I feel worse.

I am still in anti nausea pills.

Lost 16 lbs.

I feel like my brain is on amphetamines (not that I know what that's like) and thoughts are whirling and I don't know what to trust or what to do.


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
Chippednotbroken
♀ Member
Member # 40170
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm working on gettin out. I hear it gets better -- like going from hotdogs to steak better. Don't give in to the sorrow or fear. Keep strong if not for you then for the rest of us. We all need lights. You are going to be fine. Somebody remind me of this when my turn comes.


Me BS 32
DDay July 13'
3 young kids

Posts: 300 | Registered: Aug 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, November 8th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WaWa))))

Your brain feels that way because it's in a Fight or Flight mode.

You chose to remove yourself, and honestly if was a second time around it was a smart choice. He has clearly showed you who he is.

Know this - You deserve better, you deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and above all respect. He is incapable of that.

You also did NOTHING to cause this, and your gift of R the first time was more than enough to be content with knowing you did what you could.

If you are still strung out, and frantic, and cant stop the brain, and aren't able to eat or sleep, please talk to your dr about something for anxiety.

I remember in the early days I went days and days without real sleep, it made it so much more difficult to keep my emotions in check. I found the antianxiety medications stopped my brain, and allowed me to get real sleep, and that in turn allowed me to be strong, and control the negative thoughts.

Do one nice thing for you today. Even if it's small. Take a nice long bath, get a pedi, read a book (non A related), watch a Will Farrell movie, something to make you feel happy.

You have a new start, and you will come out the other side of this stronger than you could have ever imagined.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8218 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Raven96
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, November 8th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WaWaNJ)))

You WILL come out of this stronger! I read your profile, and 3 years is more than generous time to wait for him to get his head out of his butt! Time's up, Idiot! You lose!

Take your beautiful daughter and get away from him. He's toxic. You can do this!!!

Please keep posting. We are here for you, cheering you on!!!!

(((More Hugs)))

*Edited for profanity. I just hate when they are too stupid to see all they have!! You deserve soooo much better!!!

[This message edited by Raven96 at 9:02 AM, November 8th (Friday)]


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
WaWaNJ
♀ Member
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are going to work on it.

I dont know thats the right thing yet


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I am so so sorry... I don't know but he's been lowing to you for how long now.. You deserve better. You are strong and he is a POS that doesn't deserve you.
If you want to work it out but from reading your first line it doesn't seem like he did anything in the past to help you or himself.
Sending lots of HUGGSSS


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you are a strong woman...doing what you have to do. i respect you for that. even if this is just what you have to do for right now.

i know the feeling all too well...the discovery of another a. i was in false r before i found out my h was cheating with another woman he met on the internet.

you do get stronger. keep your bitchboots on nice and tight.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 934 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Offhispedestal
♀ Member
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WawaNJ...I'm so sorry, we share the same DDay month and year. April is when I first saw them of course I didn't even know it was a DDay because he denied etc....

I think this is every BS worst nightmare. I know the hell you are in. I know that darkness. I know your mind doesn't allow you to rest. The 2nd DDay is worst in my opinion. I don't know what's driving you to stay this time. My mind tells you that he obviously didnt learn a single thing to put you through this again. He's not worth a second chance he's in panic mode and is promising to do anything for you to stay. I totally understand that tug in your heart that wants this to work, that wants your life back. I will never ever understand WS that last a few years and bam! Do this again? He can't possibly understand the pain he's just caused you. I'm angry for you. I know your mind feels crazy right now. Please try somehow to get some rest. Your daughter needs you.😔
I'm so sorry


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 631 | Registered: Jun 2011
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( WaWa)))

If you guys are gonna try to work things out, I would make a post nup agreement that is drawn up by your lawyer ( one that is heavily in your favor should you S or D) a non arguable condition of R...

It is enough stress to find out that our WS's are still lying and cheating, but it really sucks big time to have to worry about food and shelter for ourselves because our stupid WS's turned our lives upside down..

You will know in almost a heartbeat how remorseful your WH is and if he truly cares about you and your kiddo's welfare as much as he cares about his own..

I hate to say it but in my experience an un remorseful WS won't take the gamble on R if there is any risk to his/her livelihood involved...They rarely put their money where their mouthes are..

Sending you strength...

[This message edited by doggiediva at 8:27 PM, November 11th (Monday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1169 | Registered: Nov 2011
WaWaNJ
♀ Member
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thx guys. I was ok but I am not sure... Again


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
Topic Posts: 30
Pages: 1 · 2

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