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Newest Member: Hurtingnnc (44284)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: "Zooming out " ??
MissMoneypenny
♀ New Member
Member # 34714
Default  Posted: 4:58 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since DDay almost 4 years ago I have the problem that whatever I do, whether at work or in a conversation, watching TV, reading or being with my kids or being with SO or with friends,
I am zooming out with my thoughts and attention.

I just stare at no specific point and then the whole drama is right before my eyes again.

Sometimes it takes minutes before I am "back"...
Does anybody know this or am I going bananas ?


" The only thing I have in common with OW is our birthday "

Posts: 44 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Europe
macakipa
♀ Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are NOT going bananas. DDay for me was 2 years ago, divorced earlier this year, and I too have those "zooming out" moments.

How can we not have them?! Our lives were thrown into a blender filled with lies, disrespect and shattered dreams. What is good, is that you are recognizing when this happens. Now you can work on throwing in new images to try and break the cycle.

I used to throw in images of my XH getting found out for who he truly is at work and with his family and getting swallowed up in a big karma hole. Now I throw in images of ME...my next getaway, events involving my children...you get the idea.

Hang in there

eta: typos

[This message edited by macakipa at 8:27 AM, November 1st (Friday)]


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((MissMoneypenny)))) You are not going bananas, honey. It does sound like you could have PTSD, however. It isn't uncommon - many BS here have gone through it as well. Are you working with an IC? It's worth exploring.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24436 | Registered: Aug 2011
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, it's part of PTSD. It happens to me a lot.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2570 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((MissMoneypenny)))

It is normal. You are going through a traumatic time. At one point I was forgetting periods of time, where I was, street names, what I was doing, how do to things, etc...


Posts: 33903 | Registered: Mar 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also went through this. It's part of PTSD. I hope you're in IC, and I hope you will consider EMDR.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9299 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
MissMoneypenny
♀ New Member
Member # 34714
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all so much for sharing and letting me know that I am not the only one ! I can handle it now and these periods get less frequent the more time passes.
And I am that for almost one year now the nightmares have stopped.


" The only thing I have in common with OW is our birthday "

Posts: 44 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Europe
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to chime in and agree with the ideas that the zoom outs or dazes could be linked to stress. I have them too and will go one step further to say that I've found myself in places I didn't plan to be since dday.

Stress has a major, major impact on our brains, but we can combat it once we grasp what we're dealing with.

I'm really glad that you're noticing and questioning it. That seems like a good way to move to the other side.

In particular when I am very tired or after an interaction with Perv, it can happen.

Blessings to you.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 8

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