Oh, I get it.
There are some things wh does that drive me batty. I have let him know it won't be happening with me for a good long time. P*ssed him off, but eh.
Time - give it time. I have reclaimed a couple of things, but others are still out there waiting to be reclaimed and/or made better. We'll see.
As far as the snarky comment by wh? I have been known to crawl all over wh backside when he tries to put his stupid back on me. If it's important to him, he'll keep on trying ---- even when I shut him down. He doesn't get to be snarky, he doesn't get to want me to "be over it".
One of the things I tend to do is to turn stuff back to him.
i.e....."So, wh --- let's say *I* was the one stupid enough to step out, AP and I went to eating establishment and you're telling me you want to go there now? Did you want to sit in the same booth? Did you want to hold my hands and play footsies? Did you want to sit BY me or ACROSS from me ?"
I lay it on thick. It sometimes helps him see that I am not being an emotional woose, but that HE needs to figure out new and better for US.