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Newest Member: LostinBluseas (45054)

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User Topic: hate resurfaces..
torn2pieces
♀ New Member
Member # 39029
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

in the past couple days i have been in the same place as ow. today i wanted to just say something nasty but i know its not worth it . she thrives on drama and being the victim. i can't help but look at her with disgust but know how pitiful she actually is. my h and i are doing well but boy seeing her being her smug self sometimes makes me boil. then i make remarks to h which are not helpful .... then im sick to my stomach because it brings negativity in the air. how do others deal with seeing ow alot and not get irritated !

Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: torn2pieces
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I so get it!

I see ow at LEAST 3 times a week. Daughters on the same team. I ignore her, I *think* it pisses her off

I talk to my friends/other moms on the team (I have them, she doesn't), grab WH's butt, make sure he is RIGHT NEXT TO ME at all times and laugh a lot. A lot.

Just keep being you, you rock! She doesn't.

I am also a little more snarkey after seeing her. WH deals with it. After all, it's his fault.

I get it, I really do. Just remember you are the better person. That's what I keep telling myself.

(((torn2pieces)))


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. Damn!


Posts: 215 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 6:58 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

torn2pieces,

Would you like us to move this thread to General so you (and the responders) are free to vent about OW?


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
torn2pieces
♀ New Member
Member # 39029
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorry, you can move it.

Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: torn2pieces
integritymatters
♀ Member
Member # 23681
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the early couple of years, I did have to encounter AP a lot as our sons were on the same team.

how do others deal with seeing ow alot and not get irritated !

I got some really good advice from IC. "Focus on yourself. What do you like about you? What makes you feel good about you? What about you makes you happy about you? Leave others alone."

This was very helpful. I would walk into these situations telling myself things like, "I have my dignity". "I have my integrity". "I am a good person" "I like me"

Just that whole frame of mind where you make your experience that you are about to have about what you like and is good about you makes a world of difference. When you drop focus on the bad or about others and redirect it to yourself and what is positive gives you a self-empowerment over your own experience that is very hard to describe. The funny thing is.... frequently the AP or any other unpleasant aspect of the situation gets downplayed to the point of barely noticed.... I guess you could call that indifference. Indifference to AP is a good place


I dropped my toast this morning and it landed butter side up! It's going to be a good day. :)

Posts: 1482 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Canada
torn2pieces
♀ New Member
Member # 39029
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

these are great ideas. i need to ignore her presence 100% and not feed into her ways. i also have to deal with the our kids being on the same team which is a bummer. tomorrow i will focus on me and the kids while we are all in the same place again..it feels Like its letting her off easy but i know its for my peace and happiness. thanks for your tips :)

Posts: 42 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: torn2pieces
Topic Posts: 6

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