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Newest Member: hurtinginatl (44610)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: "I miss you" out of the blue?!
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night, after a fun Highschool football afternoon, I was minding my own business, cooking ahead for the weekend and having a nice glass of wine and feeling genuinely happy - when all of a sudden my phone lights up with a new text message from XSO: "Hello, how are you! I don't know if it matters but I miss you very much."

???? Six weeks of no contact, him having moved back in with her and then this? I assume he was either drunk or had a fight with her, anyhow, crickets over here.

However, all that healed has been ripped open again. When I saw the text the tears came flooding. I feel I can start all over again now. I know it probably is not true but it feels this is harder to move on from than my marriage.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 10:58 AM, November 2nd (Saturday)]


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((freuken)))))

That's so selfish of him after his behavior. All about him and his feelings of being without you! I think it's time to block his number.

Then keep doing the great things you are doing to take care of yourself.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5784 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an ass. ((((fraeuken))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24787 | Registered: Aug 2011
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FTG


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7509 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would probably have texted "fuck off".


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17289 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((fraeuken)))

I'm sorry.


Posts: 34490 | Registered: Mar 2011
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((fraeuken)) it is hard enough to move on without having the bandaid ripped off before the wound has healed...Glad you didn't respond...continue to heal today...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3071 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((frauken)))

Glad you were able to stay crickets.

I've heard the first SO after D can be harder to move on from than the marriage.

I know breaking this off with a guy after two months was much harder than I anticipated, and it set me back a bit when he sent me an e-mail that he sent to all his female friends with a discount code to an online store his sister works at. So you're not alone.

It does get easier, and with NC I was better off much earlier than after the initial break-up.

(((frauken)))


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3299 | Registered: Dec 2011
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do not have much advice other than telling you we all felt the same. The feeling we had for WS will be always there, that is why we always have " dreams", WS probably was thinking about you, but it is our choice not to be in this "triangle" relationship.
Hang in there, it will get better over time!

((((Fraeuken))))


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 175 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double post

[This message edited by Blackhair at 10:32 PM, November 2nd, 2013 (Saturday)]


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 175 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so cruel. Now he had me waiting for a follow up, some other sign of life.

And I finally have enough. Number is blocked. I will never know if he tried or not. It is better this way but it certainly takes all my strength.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((fraeuken)))

Good for you for blocking him. YOU win. YOU have the power.

He? Is some piece of selfish scum for texting you. Fuck missing you. FTG.


If you can't learn to enjoy your life when you have problems, you may never enjoy it because we'll always have problems. - Joyce Meyer

Posts: 16854 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, November 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a selfish idiot. Blocking was the right call. Ugh...FTG.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4442 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, November 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good move Frau to Block him. That is very selfish of him.

I miss my SO as well. We remain close and hugged and kissed last week when I went by her house to drop off some of her things.

Just liked PHMH said, it is hard to get over your first relationship.

At least you know he is a jerk and can move on. It must be tough tough with how cruel he continues to be

(((((Frau))))

[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 3:06 PM, November 3rd (Sunday)]


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 726 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh, I hate him. Now he is on my mind again every minute of the day. I have cried every day. He still lives with ex-girlfriend. So why make me hurt like this? I am at the point again where I think I will never find love again. Same as when it ended with XH. Totally not rational, but hard to believe right now. It will not matter in five years.. but today it is killing me. Thanks for letting me vent.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((frauken)))))) Sending you strength and comfort, honey.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24787 | Registered: Aug 2011
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wants to feel like "every woman wants him".

Good for you for blocking him, all contact brings new hurts and you weren't even looking for a contact.

Plus, a really sick person would want to cause someone MORE trauma.

Move on and thank God he isn't with YOU, texting another woman, because this shows he is STILL THE SAME AS ALWAYS.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Jan 2012
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fraeuken,

Let me tell you what happened with Pigfucker. HE divorced me. After 20 years and 2 beautiful children. He re-married while the ink on the decree was still wet. However, when I had to see him at a school event for one of our kids, he wanted to hug me. While he was hugging me (I stood stiffly with my arms to my sides) he whispered in my ear, "It was all my fault. I miss you. I love you." I wanted to boil my body in bleach.

DD14 (at the time) told me often that he would get drunk and cry about how he'd lost the best thing that ever happened to him. How he'd blown his only chance of happiness. This was in front of his WIFE! Apparently, whenever he was mad at her he would tell her that she was nothing compared to me and that I was the perfect wife and mother and that she could never measure up. I actually felt and still feel sorry for her.

I responded to none of this and have maintained strict NC with him since that hug. 8 years have gone by. He cheated on and then mind fucked and divorced the wife. He is now with the new OW.

Even though what he said about me was totally true! It meant absolutely NOTHING. He is still the same lying, cheating, NPD, selfish, abusive Pigfucker that he's always been.

Good for you for blocking his number. Stay strong. (((HUGS)))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1006 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CheaterMagnet, how are you doing? PM coming!!!


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, November 8th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reclaimed the Bible Study group tonight we used to go to together, knowing he switched nights to go with ex, ahem, now again girlfriend. It was good. Afterwards I realized based on some pictures from one of the Harvest Crusades at church he had also lied to me about when he had broken up with her. He had made it seem much longer than it actually had been. This is almost comical - seems I was his rebound and here I was thinking he was mine :-)


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1247 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 20

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