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Newest Member: waugh (44311)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Struggling today - a little whiney
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it from a WS perspective but somehow this feels harsh. I'm struggling because this is so unwanted. I didn't want to break up. I've never left anyone before when I still loved them. Breaking up with someone you hate can be tricky, but this just feels like I myself ripped my heart out and stomped all over it in the name of principal.

I'm posting here to stop me from contacting him. No matter what I do, I know I need to let this sit. Nothing good ever comes out of just reacting. I know this. I'm just posting here for strenght and to remind me.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3003 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you strength, cayc.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24437 | Registered: Aug 2011
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you need to look at it from a different angle.

It doesn't really matter how much you love HIM - that's never been the issue.

You need to look at how much you love YOURSELF. Step away, and give him time to get his shit together and be the person that you deserve to be with.

In the meantime, just keep being your awesome self. Allow yourself to heal from this.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((cayc)) I'm doing my own sitting with something today. All my brain chemicals are yelling "DO SOMETHING" "MAKE A MOVE" "FIX THIS FEELING" but I'm trying to just let them yell while going about other business today. Decisions that are good for us and in our own best interests, don't always "feel" right or good. That doesn't mean that they aren't the right decisions.

"Done for right now" sounds like a good mantra for today.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3013 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After all, why would he do anything to fix anything if I can just leave him? It's not much incentive.

Because sweetie, he shouldn't be doing it to keep you or for you. He should be doing it because he wants to heal himself. You truly shouldn't be part of the equation.

You know this. It's just hard to remember when you're hurting.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 999 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never left anyone before when I still loved them. Breaking up with someone you hate can be tricky, but this just feels like I myself ripped my heart out and stomped all over it in the name of principal.
It is extremely difficult to leave someone while you still love them, and it can take time. It took me a year to finally leave my XSO for good. Because we did love each other and he didn't do anything horribly terrible, he just couldn't be what I needed.

But like everyone says, you can't make room in your life for the right person while you are still attached to the wrong one. I'm so sorry you are hurting (((cayc)))). I understand.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15112 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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