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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: XH is getting married to OW
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew this day was coming. He texted my daughter last night and told her he was getting married and he wants my son to play guitar at his wedding and my daughter to sing!

She said "Mom, I cannot do this. I cannot go to this or be any part of it." I said "Well, tell him." and she did. Then the crazy started. He doesn't understand why and thinks everyone should be happy for him. She ended up having to block his number and OW's number. She never gave OW her phone number and is mad about that too. This is abuse. Her own father. Makes me sick.

[This message edited by miadianna at 10:59 AM, November 4th (Monday)]


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7483 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still delusional after all these years I see.

What a tool.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21075 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you all a huge hug. ((((miadianna & kids))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25835 | Registered: Aug 2011
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you, DS and DD.

They never seem to see their horribleness for what it is. Totally selfish behaviour (whining voice with accompanying violins) "but it makes me happy, why aren't you happy for me"


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((miadianna & kids))))

What a self-centered asshole. No consideration AT ALL for his own children.

Yeah, they really want to make music to celebrate the bitch that broke up their family.

ASSHOLE.

((((miadianna & kids))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2624 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
osxgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm.... I think if I were her, I would change tactics and tell Dad that she is excited to help out with their "special" day, and that she is working on a wonderful rendition of "Your Cheatin' Heart" to celebrate their love.


Posts: 2405 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When she texted back she had no interest in being a part of it, he wrote back "Well maybe you could do a reading? A poem or something? I will leave a spot open for you." She replied it wasn't necessary, she will not be coming and he wrote back "WHAT GIVES!!!?" Then went on a text ramble about how he doesn't know what she has against OW because she had "little or nothing" to do with our divorce and it was all him because he said "it was time." (Except I have the messages and pics of her being a huge part, sorry fool) I'll never forget when he threw himself a birthday party, she didn't go and he called her and yelled "You are supposed to make me feel special, I want to feel special, it's my birthday!!!" Yeah almost 55 years old.

This is from a man who never once visited his kids since he left in 2005 and never once came to see her at college (4 years!) and she went to school in our city, she wasn't far away. What a parent failure.

She wrote "Believe me, since you left we are all better off. I know a lot of things that you and many people don't know I know." Then she blocked some phone numbers on her phone. Done.

Part of the confusion for him is he has no idea I knew he was cheating and have folders full of instant messages, photos, and emails. I've never told him I knew, I have no contact with him. They've been lying and spinning the story around to people that they met a year after we separated. I just let him look like the fool he is. His whole family believes it too.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7483 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he wants my son to play guitar at his wedding and my daughter to sing!
He is delusional! And then he's shocked when his kids aren't excited about this blessed event!?

It would be one thing if the two of you decided that things weren't working out between you in a mutual agreement, and then later on met someone and was getting married.

Sorry, but when you marry the OW, you don't get to enjoy the same well wishes. But they expect it. I don't get it.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3426 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, in the unlikely chance that your children change their minds, I would suggest that they choose one of the songs from this playlist: http://www.chartattack.com/features/2010/08/30/twenty-great-fuck-you-songs/


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oy. What a douchebag.
You have raised a wonderful daughter that knows how to set her boundaries.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4693 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It doesn't sound like they have any sort of relationship with OW. Do they have a relationship with him?

He is reaping what he sowed.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5618 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is from a man who never once visited his kids since he left in 2005 and never once came to see her at college (4 years!) and she went to school in our city, she wasn't far away.

Wow. Parent failure for sure. It makes it even more sad and hurtful that he's probably only asking her to do this for appearances, to impress OW or his family and friends, and/or to justify his actions and not feel so bad about everything.

If his children are supportive and come to sing or read a poem or whatever, what he did must not have been all that bad

What a dick.. Lots of hugs to you and your kids..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2396 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They have no relationship with OW, they were almost 16 and 18 when he left. But he wants them to be the Brady Bunch. My son was about to graduate high school, he moved out a week before my son's 18th birthday. He bought a house about 100 miles away in her town but expected them to be the ones to visit, but only when he wants. Which is when he has some sort of party. They have never spent any time with him alone since he left. They have visited a few times, always with OW there. Her kids lived with them, he said mine would have to get a hotel if they wanted to stay over. Which they never did.

A few years ago he sat them down and told them he made a living will and OW will come before them. They are in 3rd place, after his brother and OW. Just wanted them to know. At the time, he only knew her a few years. He makes a lot of money.

They don't care about that at all. My kids are not materialistic. They lived with me full-time. I raised them, took care of them, were there for them for every single thing all of these years. He was never around. Now they are grown and are very close to me and he can't stand it.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7483 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Self-entitled much??? What a fucktwit. I'm sorry your daughter even has to deal with it, but good for her for standing her ground!

I believe I am in the same position you started with. XPOS left in March and hasn't seen the kids since. He has no contact with kids except superficially with DS20 (DS20 is simply being civil and polite to get a few things out of him then is cutting him off). My DDs don't want anything to do with him. He sent me a text a few months ago that was asking something about DD22 (nothing important). I responded that he needed to talk to her about it as she was an adult. He responded, "I tried, but no one talks to me." HHHmmm, I wonder why, douche bag???? I expect him to marry his whore any time now, but anticipate his relationship will be the same as in your case with the kids in a few years - nonexistent.

These pricks just don't get it. Boggles the mind!

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 6:34 PM, November 4th (Monday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1205 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really sorry.

We have this coming, if not already and kept secret from me.

He is also taking OW around to family members without asking them and showing up at their doors to introduce her.

And he brings our daughter there before we are even divorced.

On the phone he begs our daughter, "do you forgive me? Do you? Do you?" over and over, she said.

He was mad because I said he should not know those people.

He told my mother he wanted to marry her before we even knew he was a cheater.

WTF?

I am sorry for your pain and that of your children. No one should have to have it.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2306 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry I don't understand how people can be so selfish and self-centered


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 942 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry that you're joining the charming club of those with XWS who are stupid enough to marry their APs. Yep, they don't see anything wrong with it and are under the mistaken impression that everyone will bless and welcome their union. It's sad how delusional they are, and they will never learn.

I'm sorry for your kids. At least they are old enough to be able to avoid the crazy. My kids are forced to deal with it during their forced visitation.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love your daughter.

Children aren't props to be trotted out to accessorize the unicorn rainbow life.

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation.

What a fuckwit.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you and your DS and DD! I'm admiring your daughter and her boundaries.

Your ex is an asshole.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2281 | Registered: Oct 2012
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just venting, have nobody else to talk to about this but I'm so mad at him. Daughter has cut off contact and XH won't give up.

He's at it again. Their wedding is next month and he is desperate for my daughter to be there. She has had no further conversation about this wedding since the last time he asked her and she told him she was not interested. The only time she has seen him in the past year was on Christmas Eve. It was a short dinner at a relative's home. She overheard someone asking him about the wedding at Christmas and thinks she heard it was May. He never told her when it was.

This past weekend he bomb texted her asking her again if she changed her mind and would please come to his wedding. She once again said "I'm not interested. It's not something I support so I have no reason to be there. But it would be nice if you, me, and my brother could meet and have dinner down here sometime." (XH moved 100 miles away and has never come to see her although he is in our area very often.)

He completely ignored her offer to have dinner with him and her brother and started asking her why she doesn't want to come to his wedding. He said it's going to look bad. He wrote "Your aunt XXXX would love to see you." (manipulative..her aunt could come and see her anytime and never has.) When she again said she wasn't going to be there, he wrote "But OW really likes you! It would mean a lot to me for you to be there." She doesn't care if OW likes her or not.

Her last text was telling him she is too old to be going back and forth like this and she has no interest in attending his wedding, she doesn't support it, and she would like if he respected her decision and not contact her again about this wedding.

I really can't believe he has no idea why she doesn't want to be a part of this. Can someone be that blind and narcissistic?

[This message edited by miadianna at 3:20 AM, May 3rd (Saturday)]


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7483 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 34
Pages: 1 · 2

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