Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: What2do2014 (44300)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Need Strength Advice Help
Ambermoon
New Member
Member # 41173
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, November 10th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you noanswer and gonnabe for your continued support.

I am putting on my mile high bitch boots and inserting the steel rod as I write this LOL.

I will let you know how things play out today. I haven't decided what I will say or when I will say it. I just know it needs to be said and it needs to be done.
I think the sooner the better.
I will keep you all posted.


Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013
Ambermoon
New Member
Member # 41173
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, November 10th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I am feeling more peaceful tonight then I have in a long time. I cannot believe how much mental energy I was giving to him even when things were "good".
I feel free. I am only thinking of myself and what I want. I am not worrying about his last comment or lack of comments. I am not planning my life around his wants, needs and desires. I am so grateful for this moment of peace that I am experiencing.
I haven't made any major moves since I last posted. I simply told him that I am going to bed early tonight and that I would talk to him tomorrow.
For now, that is enough.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013
Ambermoon
New Member
Member # 41173
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to check in and get some advice.

I have been doing alot of reading and I am dating a sociopath. It is chilling - everything I have read can explain our relationship better than I even can. It was DEAD ON.
I feel a bit relieved. I am not crazy. There is an explanation for the craziness.
And I am filled with RAGE - at myself and at him.
BUT this is much easier to face than confusion and pain. So I am really OK!!!!!
NOW I must establish NC

I have not seen him but he is texting me every few hours. I told him I needed space and time to myself right now but of course, he doesn't hear me or care. He is trying to pull me into the game.
I know to much to be deceived again so I need help with NC.
My cell provider does not block cell numbers and I cannot change my number due to work so does anyone know of an app that I can download to block calls and text msgs?


Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013
Swims
♀ Member
Member # 30992
Default  Posted: 5:01 AM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ambermoon, I can't help you with advice about apps..... hopefully someone will come along with advice about that. But YOU can be the filter right now. Don't answer his texts! Continue to stay strong! Be good to yourself. You can do this, Ambermoon!

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: East Coast
Ambermoon
New Member
Member # 41173
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am happy to tell everyone that I have ended things. And I know it is over because I don't have the need to tell you all of the gory details like I usually do. I no longer have a need to understand who, what, where, when. I am DONE.

I haven't been able to block the number but I may not even need to. If I find that his constant text messages are affecting me then I will find a way even it that means changing my number.

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me and helped me through my darkest hour. I know that I am just starting the recovery process and there will still be alot to deal with and clean up but I have made that first step and I am proud of myself. I think those mile high bitch boots really helped lol.
I feel free.
My time is my own.
My feelings are my own.
My actions are my own.
My decisions are my own.
My life is my own.
My future belongs to me.


Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013
NoAnswers37
♀ Member
Member # 40592
Default  Posted: 5:12 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great Amber - keep this attitude going and don't forget to post again when/if you have a tricky day. This is a roller coaster after all!

You can and will get through this - here is to your happier life without that "man".


Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending

Posts: 122 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: England
SusanR
♀ Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 6:17 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds to me like he might have a sexual addiction. Don't let that give him a pass though. Very difficult to change that mindset and you'll end up wasting valuable years and suffering repeated emotional trauma.

Get away as fast as you can. Go NC.

Find comfort in who you are alone before you think about hooking up with someone else. Then find someone who genuinely values you as a person, not a plaything.

My therapist suggested that I need to be friends with a man before getting sexual. Should keep the sex addicts at bay!

Hugs. You have a long painful journey ahead thanks to that POS.


Posts: 1930 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm very, very HAPPY to hear your update! Aren't those bitch boots comfortable?

Now, your work isn't done. Please. Get yourself some counseling. You need to not only heal from and process this, but you also need to understand your how and why. So this doesn't happen again. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Ambermoon
New Member
Member # 41173
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes you are right - my work isn't done. I think it might have just begun.

I am still NC and have NO desire to reach out to him or see him but I am feeling so much anger and a bit of sadness tonight.
I cannot believe that I have believed in something that has been a lie for these past 2 years. And when I think back to all of the games he played and lies that I believed.. it makes me sick. How could I have been so dumb?

He continues to just send stupid text messages each day... I am having no problem ignoring him which is a nice change :) And I am not doing it to try to hurt him or teach him a lesson which is new. I am doing it for me. I have no desire to see him or hear one more word of his bullshit.
I am thankful for that.
I have always thought his stupid one line messages really meant he was thinking of me and missed me but he couldn't say the words for fear I would reject him. Ha what a joke. He is bored. He wants to get laid. I am the object of his desire for the moment.... whatever. All I can think to say to that is FUCK OFF.
but I am still left with a hurting heart and a weary soul but I know that that is better than living a lie.

I know this is normal to the way I am feeling right now but I wish I could just erase him from my mind. I don't want to feel the way I feel and I know it takes time but UGH this sucks. But it is much better then the confusion and longing that I had just a week ago so that is progress.

Maybe you could share with me what you went through once you established NC and how you began to heal? What emotions did you face and how did you deal with them in a healthy way? What are things you did each day to take care of you and let the hurt and anger go? How did you trust again. I am noticing that I am questioning every single persons actions now and wondering if they are manipulating me... I see everything differently.



Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013
Ambermoon
New Member
Member # 41173
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And yes noanswer I am finding these bitch boots to be a much needed addition to my wardrobe! I think I will be keeping them forever.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Oct 2013
NoAnswers37
♀ Member
Member # 40592
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well honey, all I can say is that it is a long bumpy road but you ARE on the right track.

Hearing you say you are NC for you and not him is like music to my ears - you seem to have changed the angle you are looking at the situation from and that has empowered you, which is just brilliant.

You will certainly get days when you are sad, then days when you are angry, but the trick is to let yourself have these emotions and roll with them. In time they will become less frequent, and because you acknowledged them you will end up a wiser and stronger person.

I just need to add - you were NEVER dumb. Ever. You were manipulated and abused and I am so sorry for that. Nothing was your fault but here you are turning everything around and making your life better again. So proud of you.

I understand your concerns about not trusting again - I am in the same boat as you but what I have realised is to almost not worry about that for now. I have a lot of work to do on me to recover from my betrayal, and until then I will just keep my friends and family close so I do not need to worry about new people just yet. In time you will be strong and trust again, I am sure.


Live without pretending
Love without depending
Listen without defending
Speak without offending

Posts: 122 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: England
Topic Posts: 51
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.