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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Today is DDay #2...
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After what I thought was 4 years of successful R. WS called me crying about an hour ago... then came home and told me "everything". I don't feel anything, yet. No. I am lying. I feel... relieved. I don't think I want to R, this time.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im sorry does that say he slept with a prostitute yesterday?


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1879 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((steadfast1973)))

Posts: 11605 | Registered: Mar 2008
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Yesterday.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Kierst13
♀ Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He has kept you in false R for four years. He has lied about parts of himself to keep you from knowing he held onto the "high" of cheating until he could not say no to it any longer. He jumped from an EA (if he was honest the first time) straight to a PA with a prostitute. Hang on tight, there could be much more truth coming.

He has shown you who he is; believe him!

I am so sorry you are facing this again after what you believed to be successful R.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm very sorry hun.

(((steadfast1973)))


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It feels different than the last time. I am not angry. I am not sad. I am thinking of where I want me and my girls (10 and 12) to make our fresh start.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
realitybites
♀ Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WS called me crying about an hour ago..

Don't ya just love how they start crying when confessing? Like you are his parent or something.

There does come a time when you just KNOW you are done. You gave him 4 years. Priceless years.


Posts: 5632 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((steadfast1973))))) I am so sorry you are hurting.


It's so easy to believe someone when they're telling you exactly what you want to hear.....

Posts: 1879 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe it's shock (since I got the truth all at once at lunchtime today). But I am not hurting. All I feel is relief. And that has me so confused.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((steadfast))))

It's ok to not feel. It's your brains way of keeping you safe. I can perfectly understand not wanting to R this go round.

I gave mine one shot, he ruins that he is gone. Or I am.

Perhaps you should start with a to do list.
1. Hefty bag his shit.
2. See a lawyer
3. Open a new bank account with just your name on it, and move half of all funds to it, it is yours.
4. Talk with him and figure out what you are going to tell the kids.
5. Make an appt to see the Dr, and get tested, and then to get any meds that you may need to navigate this.

We are here for you.
((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8228 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be strong and have faith that you are making the right decision, whatever you decide.


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 357 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I feel is relief

That's what I felt when I was finally done.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
megs56
♀ Member
Member # 40791
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.

(((steadfast1973)))


Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32

I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.

Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.


Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Sacramento, Ca
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only you know when you are done.

And he will have NOTHING to say about it.

Asshat!!


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1278 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh. My. God.

I am so very, very sorry.

You feel relief? That may be because you now know it's time to move on.
This is my biggest fear. Yet another DD.

He is a cheat. It's his core competency. Believe him. And softly, but gently, the door closes.

(((((((steadfast))))))


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 16

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