Topic: Could use an unbiased opinion
Member # 32616
| Posted: 5:01 PM, November 8th (Friday), 2013|
Ugh. (((E1979))) Please block all avenues of contact so he can't get any more vitriol through. You have enough evidence that this was him, not you.
Posts: 2969 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
|Helen of Troy|
Member # 26419
| Posted: 6:01 PM, November 8th (Friday), 2013|
He sounds like a very unkind person.
Good for you getting rid of him.
Posts: 4610 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 27428
| Posted: 6:43 PM, November 8th (Friday), 2013|
Jeez, E. I'm sorry. You did NOT deserve to be cheated on. Nor did you deserve his making fun of you. I'm sorry.
I know it hurts right now but you dodged a bullet. Chin up.
[This message edited by abbycadabby at 6:45 PM, November 8th (Friday)]
Posts: 954 | Registered: Feb 2010
Member # 9772
| Posted: 7:58 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
While it was incredibly unkind for him to write all those things, it has to make your decision a little easier, no?
Just beware of him trying to reel you back in.
I was in a similar situation for way longer than I like to admit. He used my kindness against me to get back in over and over again.
"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers
Posts: 839 | Registered: Feb 2006
Member # 1224
| Posted: 8:12 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
He ended up telling me that I deserved to be cheated on, I am an awful person, I ruined my own marriage, and then made fun of me because I see a therapist
If I could I would kick. his. ass. for saying such hurtful things to you. He knew what would wound you and went for it. He is an eff'n douche.
FTG He has no class.
Sounds like he needs to have a few drinks and stop judging everyone else.
I am sorry, I know it hurts. There is never a reason or excuse to cheat, EVER.
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed
Posts: 491 | Registered: Mar 2003
Member # 30591
| Posted: 9:33 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
The important thing here is what you learn from this situation.
He is not loving or compassioned person. He does not understand anything that it is not in his book. He does not know how other people have other believes and, he does not respect them.
You are who you are! With good and no so good issues but beautiful after all and if he cannot see it, too bad.
It is time to look inside and what kind of person you want in your life. Loving, caring, compassioned and most of all understanding will be a good traits.
YOU are beautiful because it is your birth right. It is true that we have some issues all of us but, a rose is a rose always beautiful from a seed to a full grown plant. Get it?
You deserve to be treated with respect regardless what you do with your family or friends. I may not drink alcohol beverages myself but it is not my right to judge you or anyone else.
Cultivate your heart and strength it enough to avoid this kind of situations of second guessing yourself.
you may have a peaceful day,
My two cents
Pain and suffering is part of life, but I choose to feel love and compassion for all people excluding no one.
Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 32554
| Posted: 9:34 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
What a prick! So glad you won't be with him any longer. You deserve better!
Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
Posts: 8783 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 15584
| Posted: 10:27 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
As far as the text exchange, it sounds like things got mixed up right from the beginning.
Him-I mean...I can't imagine ever doing a shot with my mother
Me-Are you serious? My mom and I get drinks all the time.
Me-Shots are def a rare occurrence.
Him-Don't you are you serious me!
He took offense when you said, "are you serious?" to him saying that he can't imagine doing shots with his mother. I agree with him, it's not weird to not do shots with your mother. You 2 obviously have very different relationships with your mothers.
Then, he got mad because you said "are you serious?" again, after he said not to say that.
Him-And I'm also done having this conversation with you via text while I'm at work. You know this never leads anywhere good. So stop it...
Him-You can respond if you do it in the right way! Texting is not! And you know it!
I agree. All of this should have been TALKED about, not texted about. It sounds like this is something he has mentioned in the past and is frustrated that you continue to text him about things rather than talk about things. I think you're both at fault for allowing the text conversation to continue as it did. He was rude, but you continued to interact with him.
However, later you mentioned that the fight continued and I'm glad you broke up with him. He was out of line. No one deserves to be cheated on. You didn't cause your marriage to end. You're not awful. and he certainly could use therapy himself!!
In the future - stop having conversations like this via text messages. I vote for more phone calls and face to face interactions when there is confusion. ((((E))))
Failure is success if we learn from it.
Posts: 3973 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Member # 39166
| Posted: 11:07 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
Also, anyone who takes the mickey for you seeing a therapist...probably needs to see one themselves and is scared what they might say
Sorry for my typos & editing, I have a sticky keyboard
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse'
OW1 - EA - my friend
COW - EA/PA - 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
Thanking God for showing me how to smile & dance in the rain
Posts: 487 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Member # 31349
| Posted: 12:01 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
I'm relieved that you're done with this guy. I was up in arms over the text thing, and that was BEFORE his full fledged asshole response afterwards.
Without knowing him personally, I can easily say that he's mean and you deserve better. Onward and upward, sweets.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
Posts: 14704 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 33226
| Posted: 12:10 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
((((E1979)))) The garbage he threw at you is just that - garbage. I'm sorry you're hurting, honey.
You can call me NIK
There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox
Posts: 22657 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 40996
| Posted: 12:30 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
What a dick. I hate guys like this who make good guys look bad
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: D train.
Knowing the details doesn't always make you feel satisfied. In my case, it just made me want to burn a perfectly good couch!
Posts: 341 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
Member # 29560
| Posted: 1:12 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
Thanks for the feedback and support everyone. I am hurting today. This morning I thought I might have even made a mistake. But all of your support is reassuring!
How can I be sad and missing someone who was so mean! I feel like I need to work on myself more. He was soooo manipulating.
I guess the first dating experience after a divorce will always be difficult. I just didn't expect THIS much!
Posts: 94 | Registered: Sep 2010
Member # 34146
| Posted: 6:48 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
I have heard that the first break-up after divorce can be as hard or harder than the divorce itself.
I know mine hit me much harder than expected; good news is that I bounced back much more quickly than I did after divorce.
You definitely made the right decision.
You read here so many times "if I'd known what WXH/XWW was like, I never would have married her" -- you were lucky enough to find out what this guy was like before you tied your life to him.
Take it as a learning experience, heal, move on, and find true happiness and a partner that treats you right!
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
Posts: 3099 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 26864
| Posted: 7:51 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013|
No way. Just, no. What an awful person. You deserve better.
divorced for 6 years
mom to two awesome boys,10 and 9
"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more" -Cath, DCFC
"The most amazing things can come from some terrible lies"
Posts: 1244 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Missouri
|Topic Posts: 35|