Is he normally a fairly independant person? Is this normally something you struggle with?
Yes. Very independent. With him, it is almost like - whoever is in the most favor with him "gets" to help. If one of our kids has been disrespectful, but tries to help my husband with something, my WH will say that he doesn't need his help, and ask for the other kid to help.
When he was younger and competing in athletics constantly, I was like the pit crew. Helping with putting tape on and taking it off, etc.
Once, when we were first dating, (and I was doing all this 'pit crew' helping) we went to some kind of athletic event. His exfiance was there as part of the event. After the competition was over, WH came over to the side and I was walking over to him to take off the tape. He didn't see me (I don't think) and went over to the exfiance - she took the tape off. One if his long term friends told me who she was. It has stuck with me - and it was about 30 years ago.
I understand that if you need help for certain things that you don't want someone who has been rude to you, or is upset with you, to be the one to help. But sometimes it seems that he uses it as giving favor to one person over the other.
I guess this sounds like I'm in the 7th grade or something, but I have viewed this thing with the shot as him taking favor away from me because I was upset that he had not included me in his health issues. (I do know that there is nothing between him and this employee.)
I'm glad to hear many different opinions. My evil side has toyed with refusing to help him with this shot since I appear to be the second choice. My 'grown up' side knows I will help when I can with health related issues.
However, it will be very hard not to interpret this situation as just one more way he has found to withdraw from me."Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy