Any lies after dday that are mean to "protect" us hurt R and the marriage, period. Lies get uncovered, usually our gut wins out and we find them.
I am sorry he didn't come to you and lay it all out there. NC is NC and any contact needs to be confessed the second it happens.
Going forward, if it were me, I would work on myself, continue with my healing. See where time takes your heart. You don't need to decide anything.
When you are ready you will know.
I would get a list together of what you need from him. Preface it with " I do not know where we will end up, but what I need right now is x,y and z".
I would set boundaries going forward with doable consequences and stick to them.
Right now is a delicate time, he needs to bust his butt to show you where his heart lies and you need to navigate a path for you until you decide.
((hugs))) it ain't easy!