Can someone tell me why this OP is being given hugs and cuddles? They showed so much wayward behavior. They sought out an affair partner and made obvious inappropriate messages. YAY! They came here for support to stop from making thing physical. Sorry but this is an EA from my view.
Because one thing that I'm pretty sure all BS can agree with is that we wish there was that one critical moment when our WS would have stopped, thought, considered their course of action, questioned themselves, sought GOOD advice from people who would steer them in the right direction, and then changed their behavior before a single other harmful action was made. And that's what happened here.
The OP already knew their actions were wrong. They stated it clearly, and in the title of their post said "talk me down" - they asked for help. What possible good would it do to beat them up and try to "convince" them of something they've already acknowledged and are asking for help trying to correct?
They get hugs from me because they came here for support and encouragement in a positive direction, something we can all benefit from.
(((Shelz))) I'm glad you came here and I'm glad you did the right thing!!