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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dabbling in dating and nerves
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:37 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know my M was just legally dissolved last month, but the reality is that my marriage has been over for about five years and we were basically roommates. That being said, I have been dabbling in OLD as I would really like to find someone to do things with after feeling alone for the last five years, but every time I start engaging in online conversations I start feeling really nervous. Is this because I have been out of the game for almost 30 years? I have been chatting with someone who seems very nice and it may result in a first meeting soon, but geez oh man I am so freaking nervous!

Any tips? Thoughts?


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1085 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 4:18 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are not alone here. It is true that we are out of the dating thing for too long. Also it is a good thing you are nervous or have the butterfly again which is nice in a way at least in my opinion.

I am very conservation or old fashioned too, so I won't date/ meet anyone after I chatted online for a while and by the time I meet the guy I kind of know him a bit.

Same time be very careful to give out your identity or contact number.
Google online what is the best conversation for first date.

Meeting/ dating is fun and exciting simply enjoy it, but always be prepared for the worst so you don't get disappointed, as some guy will simply disappear after meeting you for the first time.

Again you also might meet a great guy too.

Good luck!


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I might be in the minority but I would go into every potential date with the expectation to meet a new friend.

I would also trust your instincts and make sure you meet them out.

Time is really the only factor to tell if someone is genuine (there is no guarantee).

Most importantly branch out and enjoy yourself. You might learn new things about yourself


Posts: 963 | Registered: Jul 2012
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, November 9th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

but every time I start engaging in online conversations I start feeling really nervous. Is this because I have been out of the game for almost 30 years

Yep, that nervousness just goes with the territory! After 2 years of dating I still get nervous, but now it isn't "really" nervous--just slightly nervous. It helps knowing that the person you are meeting is usually nervous too.

Tips: lower your expectations. People are often different in person than they are on line. Go into the first "meeting" (rather than calling it a "date") with the hopes of meeting someone interesting and having an enjoyable conversation. That really helps me to reduce my nerves a little bit--not expecting to meet "the one". Meet at a public spot for coffee or lunch or a drink. Get there a little early so you can pick a good place to see him enter. Keep the first meeting rather short--an hour or so rather than extending it too long. Smile. Have a couple of conversational topics in mind so you don't have to think of things on the "fly".

And most important have fun with this new opportunity!!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Topic Posts: 4

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