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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just found some pics, need opinions
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nobody does that!

Nobody takes pictures of themselves for no reason. It's either for a Craigslist add or for another woman; gross, disgusting, foul and sad...but true.

My WH did this.

Still makes me feel like this

And, I will never understand it, never.

So sorry you're going through this, I hate that people feel the way I do

(((hugs)))


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need someone smack with with a good dose of truth. All this is just too much for me, the pill, the condoms, now the photos in the deleted bin. I keep revisiting a document I have saved in an old email back from when the calls/texts were happening in 2010. Below is a sample of the communication between one escort. Why is it I still believe him when he said he never met one?! This just doesn't add up!!!!!


Note we were married April 17. These are all to one particular escort.

Calls:
April 23 (3 times)
April 25- 2 minutes
April 26- 6 times (one was for 3 min)
May 3- (4 minutes)
May 7
May 10 (4 minutes)
May 11 (2 minutes)
May 13
May 14
June 4- twice
June 5
June 6
June 9
June 10- (3 times) 2minutes
June 14
June 27
August 3- 2 minutes
Aug 11 (twice)


Texts:
April 23
May 3
May 9 (4 texts)
May 10 (7 texts)
May 13 (5 texts)
May 25- 6 texts
June 5
June 10
June 17
Aug 3 (1 being a multimedia message) 8 texts
Aug 10 (first was an outgoing text message) 27 texts


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
Markone
♂ Member
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here goes:

I don't think hookers spend time texting and calling to this degree unless they have a customer.

[This message edited by Markone at 3:00 PM, November 12th (Tuesday)]


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2010
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think hookers spend time texting and calling to this degree unless they have a customer.

My thoughts as well Like would they really waste that much time on calls and texts if he isn't giving them $$? They wouldn't waste that much time w/ someone on the off chance they may finalllly come around and pay, right?


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
Markone
♂ Member
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I would imagine not. I'm sure they get crank
callers all the time and so would be pretty dismissive
of time wasters. Just my guess but they are doing
it for money not fun.

I'm sorry. He will bullshit you left right and center
Keep trusting your gut even when your heart doesn't
want to believe it.


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2010
Markone
♂ Member
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...and as evidenced by the stories on this board,
she would have plenty of willing customers so wouldn't
need to court him to be one. My guess is he was
trying to make arrangements. He may well have been
unsuccessful but it looks like to me his intent was there.


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2010
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

as someone posted to me on other board, escorts most likely do keep records of phone numbers, I would assume if she determined he wasn't going to be a customer they wouldn't just stop responding. They are going to sex talk to him for free, right? Especially the string of texts that was 27 or something. Grrrrr wtf!!!!

Its so hard to go from "no, not my husband...he wouldn't" to "yes my husband met an escort".


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy is it ever hard to finally see them as they are.
Admitting this stuff to yourself as the new reality of your life is incredibly difficult and painful.

Sadly, Jzkc, this is the reality. Markone is telling it like it is.

I don't think that asking questions is helping your WH tell the truth, maybe statements would.
Eg: "I know you have ... and therefore I am ..."

Or just crickets and hefty bags or papers...

Now is the time to gather your strength, hugs to you while you make your decisions
(((((Jzkc))))))



There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
jzkc1502
Member
Member # 40496
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I confronted him about the photos....he said it was something he was going to send to me but didn't.

He sobbed and cried really bad.

I HATE HATE HATE this!!!! I don't want to be with him anymore but when he reacts so sadly it guilts me into staying. How do you leave someone that is so outwardly sad by the talk of divorce. I'm so incapable of hurting someone like that, I'm such a mess.


Me: BS 29
Him: WH 29
Together: 9 years, married 3
DDay: August 2010
OW: Escorts/Craigslist (escorts and strip club on our honeymoon!)
Status: Divorcing. All papers filed, waiting on date.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NJ
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what is going on. You know he is lying. You hope he isn't, but you know.

You'll end it when you are ready to be done with all this. His lying and crying and guilt tripping won't matter when you are ready.

You get to choose how much crap you'll put up with. It will be enough when its enough for you. Until then, keep reading here and asking questions.

((hugs))


Posts: 769 | Registered: Sep 2010
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's a cheater & a liar.

Lots of us here, including me, had our spouses swear on the Bible, swear on our children's lives, swear on their mother's grave, that nothing had happened. We have witnessed Academy Award winning sob fests filled with tears, snot and dramatic near-fainting spells as our cheating spouses protested their innocence.

It is difficult to accept that someone would lie right to our faces like that. It's even harder, years later, to accept that we stood there & pretended to believe the lies we knew we were being fed. I guarantee you it takes quite a few sessions with your IC to clear yourself of the painful self-recrimination you'll feel when you finally face that you were complicit in your own deception, that you willingly went along with the rug-sweeping and lies.

But it's what we do. We WANT to believe our spouse. We don't want the truth to be real. We don't want the life that we know is coming for us, so we keep pretending for as long as we can that the life we thought we had is still real.

Even though it's not.

Even though often it never was.

It's very frightening to realize that you're living a lie.

(((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9633 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Markone
♂ Member
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Nature Girl said. It's awful, but heed her
words. 3 years on- that complicity still nags at me.

Sobs, words = 0. Actions are what count.

I


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 32
Pages: 1 · 2

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