My new and somewhat refreshing issue is how to tell a man I am not interested in him. It's refreshing because I never thought I would get asked out on a date at all. I really didn't expect a second date so it caught me off guard and I agreed to a movie with him tonight. It's been so long - how do you tell a very nice person there just isn't any chemistry for you? Is it too cowardly to just not answer his calls? I try to think of how I would like to get the brush off, and I think it would hurt more to hear the words. I don't know.
I wish I wasn't in this position at all. Here I am almost 50 years old trying to start over. I thought I had received God's gift of a husband...turned out he felt he was God's gift to all women. He still does - my last conversation with him was after he broke up with the OW because, he told her, "I like a lot of women as much as I like you." How do I know this? No boundaries. He also told me he won't commit to any woman because he can love more than one at a time. This was the conversation where I asked for my keys back and literally said, "Have a nice life," and haven't seen him since. Go, me!
Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2
Definitely don't just ignore -- we call that poofing and are pretty much against it here. You'll feel better about yourself and the situation if you let him know.
I never give specific reasons, and on the few occasions when the guy has come back with something hurtful, I haven't responded.
Good luck in your NB and post more often!
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
It is a part of dating, letting people down gently. If they ask specifics, I try to say "I didn't feel a spark" or "No, I can't handle that you cheated on your wife (I've had to say this twice now!)". It is much more painful if someone "poofs"…if you read here, you know how much it sucks because there is no closure. Truth is always best.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
Thank you for your responses.
I think a text vs. a phone call depends on how he contacts you. If he asks via text, I would respond via text.
I've ended things after 1 date by text most of the time. The only time I requested an in person chat was with a guy I had been dating for 5 months.