Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013
But she just keeps telling me its time to move on, that she needs time and space, that we can t live together anymore
I know that you're reeling right now and very upset (rightfully so). BS' in the throes of this misery can't enjoy light-hearted laughs, but we *get* dark humor. So here's some dark humor for you: she is dumb enough to post pics of her and this guy on her FB page. You call the guy and leave a F You message.....and your WW is mad at YOU because SHE had lied to him and told him that she was separated. She's mad at you because you 'outed' her as a liar to her OM. That's just lovely.
While you are busy ignoring the crap out of her delusional self....you deal with your pain by *releasing* it:
Exercise -- punching bag, lifting weights, running until you puke, etc.
Continuing with your IC
Post here like crazy. Writing your thoughts out is so cathartic.
I'm sure that some of the wise SI BH's will be along to give you much more succinct *guy* advice than I can give you....so just hang tight.
And know that, whatever happens, you will make it through this shitstorm and you will be ok.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Heres my friendly tip on the visions. These arent based on reality. Its either way worse or way better than you realize, but its not your reality. These pictures in your head are just pictures. Bend them. Twist them. Change the colors, the shapes, and do it every time. Pretty soon the visions get less and less and the pain subsides.
I'm so sorry. Your WW sounds like such a cake eater - ie she wants her new guy but wants you hanging around too.
DO NOT LET HER USE YOU LIKE THIS. For your own self-respect and sanity, stick with the 180. It is the very least she deserves after treating you like this.
I think you are on the right track with really thinking about whether you want to fight for a relationship like this, especially as she was on Zoosk as well, it does sound like a mid-life crisis but that is no excuse for treating you like this.
Thinking of you.
So sorry this had to happen to you. As others have already posted, go hard 180! I know you love her, and I still love my WW, but an unremorseful WS is not going to be good to live with, let me assure you of that. 180 may wake her up, if not, you will gain strength from it anyway. Stay strong!
Your job right now is to turn into an emotional ice chip when dealing with her.
Turn all your attention and energy into your own self - look within - stay within. It's all about you now, and your beautiful 5yo son.
Save all that evidence of her stupidity, and get to a lawyer ASAP.
I'm not kidding you - there's tons of guys here who got shafted by scheming wives. Yours is in stupidland right now. Use it to your advantage.
I am so sorry that you're here. This was not your fault. It's typical of the WS to blame their BS instead of taking personal responsibility for their crappy choices.
Take care of yourself.
I'm so sorry. What a horrible experience for you. It is devastating when the people we love turn callous, cold, and calculating overnight.
It is easy to get sucked in to the small moments of intimacy offered to us when we are so bewildered and hurt. We need comfort, and are used to taking comfort from our WS - when it seems like that might be what we are getting, it's hard to keep strong and removed from the emotional soft landing it seems to provide.
Keep up the 180, and keep telling yourself that she has nothing to offer you right now. As you distance yourself from the drama she is creating (and looking for and addicted to right now) she will try to regain your interest. Stay strong, as strong as you can.
This shit hurts like nothing else.
This is, indeed, excellent advice.
As others have said, control the only thing you can. Yourself.
"Cry, and let your soul be cleansed of a love that turned to carnage." - Christy Brown
It's just been a week for me but like everyone is saying the 180..
At first I didn't get it but read it man read it.