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Newest Member: nadines13 (44587)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: So freaking weird
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, slunt bag recently had a birthday. My kids were there for the weekend before when her kids were there. She would not see my kids again until many days after her birthday so the logical time to celebrate with everyone would have been that weekend.

When they got hime I asked the kids what they did. They said they went to a restaurant for dinner, but did not have any cake. (to me, no cake on a birthday is totally blasphemous, but whatever ... She's a slunt.). That's not the weird part. The weird part is that my kids gave her nothing.

What makes that much more weird is that my kids are little so it would be ex who would have to make the effort to give her a little something from my kids. He didn't.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that bitch deserves one thing from my kids. They don't much like her and she doesn't much like them from what I can tell. But, if I'm the guy stuck in the middle of that mess and I'm trying to build a new life and a new blended family, I would likely ask them to draw her a picture, make her a card, or pick up a cupcake or a flower to give from them. Her kids did that for him on his birthday. That never happened the other way around for the slunt. It's like he still wants to keep my kids as separate from her as possible and the efforts to "blend" don't happen.

I suppose I will never get it and I suppose I see it as a nice bit of karma that my kids didn't just adjust and accept everything blindly like he initially claimed they would. At the same time, don't you think it's just fucking weird????


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2749 | Registered: Jan 2011
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If your XWH is anything like mine, it always fell to me to help the kids with gifts for others.
So in his new relationship, your XWH (like mine) probably didn't even think of it because it had always been taken care of for him.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6280 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
aLadypilot
♀ Member
Member # 1822
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad she got what she deserved... Nothing!


Divorced 9/2010
Just married 7/4/13

Posts: 4081 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Twin Cities
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On second thought...I feel a little bad for Slunt.
I think you should help "the kids" out with a belated gift.

Remember those Jack-in-the-box toys from when we were younger? I think it'd be a fine idea to retro-fit one and make your very own "Slunt-in-a-Box". What slunt can resist a cheery tune and a big giant sign that reads "Whore" popping out at the end of the tune?

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 4:57 PM, November 11th (Monday)]


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6280 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you were married was it you who was in charge of birthday festivities?


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49464 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would likely ask them to draw her a picture, make her a card, or pick up a cupcake or a flower to give from them.

You would have done this, because you're thoughtful of others. Your xWH didn't do it. It almost seems like he might be focused more on himself them others. (Smile.)


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in charge of most things when I was married.

Funny thing is, he helps them pick out gifts for me for Christmas, my birthday and mother's day. I had to get firm with him on that one and explain that it's his job as their father to teach them to be thoughtful and show respect to their mother. I do it for him on his occasions so it's only right that he does it for me. Odd that this did not translate to the slunt.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2749 | Registered: Jan 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not weird at all when you remember she is with the same man you were married to. He is just being his usual self.

I wonder if she was ever any good at connect the dots?

Have a good laugh then no more headspace.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5527 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think it possible that it's another sign of a crack in his fog about her? More to do with the realisation of who she actually is in his children's life rather than plain laziness on his part? That rather than him still thinking she's a glorious being who (of course!) your kids will need to love and celebrate on her birthday (because she's just that awesome) - that instead he does now realise how hurtful and insulting it is to you and his own children for them to have to buy a present or make a card for the woman who helped him to break up their family? Is it possible he is less in awe of her wonderfulness now, and coupled with him being a natural born coward he would now rather face her wrath at being ignored by your children on her birthday than risk you being rightfully upset with him using your children to make celebratory gestures toward her? Is is possible that upsetting her is now less important to him than him trying not look like even more of a douche to you? I'd love to think so.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1856 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SOF - I would like to know too. He is lazy and always has been, but he can turn it on when necessary. That was obvious when he was trying his best to impress the slunt.

So, I think it's a combination of being lazy and not needing anymore to turn it on. I think it's pretty well known between them that his kids are his to deal with, down to the point that if they are at a restaurant, he will take DD to the restroom rather than the slunt taking her into the ladies room. My kids have only been left alone with her once for no more than 15 minutes. He takes them on errands and everywhere he needs to go even if she is around and available to watch them for a while.

He's not blind and he's not intellectually stupid (emotionally, yes he is stupid), so he must see that there is no attachment to her and he must see that she could care less. To me and most other normal, reasonable parents, that then begs the question, why be with someone who doesn't like your kids? All I can say is that he's stuck. He is her supervisor at work. They live together and even though he bought the house, she and her kids took over that house. And, let's not discount the fact that she really is bat shit crazy. It was way easier to get rid of me than it will ever be to get rid of her. For now, it looks like he must march on with this pathetic charade until something major cracks.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2749 | Registered: Jan 2011
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even under normal circumstances, it's usually the woman who takes care of the birthday card and gift purchases anyway. It's just a girl thing I think. So if it was up to the dumbass to get the slunt a gift, well, you know how guys are.

But...if he was still trying to put on a big show, he would have been making the effort to make the slunt happy. He's not putting forth much effort, because honestly, I think he's damned miserable, and he's made his bed, now he has to sleep in it. (in the other room, of course)

I think he's biding his time until he can find his next victim.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3276 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Undoubtably the honeymoon is OVER. I don't understand anyone that would get involved with someone that they won't trust with their children. But then again, I don't understand WS's that do this to their family, so....

Don't let it bother you too much. As long as he does what is right by you with the childen, don't concern yourself with the slunt. She is not worth your headspace and neither is he.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

x here would hide from me, that info., with DD if/when the time comes. Truth would not be told.

Nor would I want to know.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 2:15 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2187 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 13

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