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Newest Member: DJGTX (44899)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Why??
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do these women flock to my ex? Why does he get to be so happy and have all these women who want to be with him? Why do my kids think he's still so cool when he basically left them and is just the Disney dad? How can someone lie and cheat and feel no remorse? Why do my friends still treat him so nicely when they know the truth about him?

Feeling the unfairness of it all at the moment. I know there aren't any answers and life isn't fair. Moving on...


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 458 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some women just have no standards. I think there are a lot of women out there who will put up with having a complete DOOSH for a boyfriend just so they can say they have one.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49473 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Harriet))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25261 | Registered: Aug 2011
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Harriet,
If we were friends I would shun him just for you!
POS cheater.
Uhggg.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If we were friends I would shun him just for you!

Me too. My REAL friends have nothing to do with him.....but I do have friends that I'm not as close to who are cordial to us both and even MOW.... I don't know why but that's just the way people are I guess. Its not fair....and I agree that people should just turn their backs on these POS's... but I had family and friends turn their backs on me and choose him. Life is funny that way. Definitely unfair.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itís not up to others to give him consequences. The consequences he must face, which are indeed worse, are the ones that are entirely his doing.

While people might appear kind, forgiving, and non-judgmental, he still lives with a fear of intimacy, an inability to connect on a meaningful level, distrust of othersí motivations, no grounds to expect anything but the superficial.

Now you my dear, have your respect, your loving heart, strong morals, and stellar boundaries. You know what it is to care for others and can freely distance yourself from those who wonít return the favor because you know you should expect more.

I can think of nothing more horrifying than hurting people and not caring, doing nothing to make amends for it and just thinking it is okay and normal because people still say hi to me and invite me to dinner. Itís the bed he has made for himself so he must lie there; donít presume that itís comfortable.


Posts: 3382 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Thelastknight
♂ Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL don't believe everything you hear or see. People in these situations always seem to be getting the better end of the deal. However if truth be told they are over compensating for life failures.

Chin up, there are hundreds of people who would trade lives with you.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now you my dear, have your respect, your loving heart, strong morals, and stellar boundaries. You know what it is to care for others and can freely distance yourself from those who wonít return the favor because you know you should expect more.

I love this Crescita! You are awesome!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2721 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, November 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Harriet)))

Posts: 35099 | Registered: Mar 2011
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 12:42 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been feeling down, and all of your words have really put things back into perspective for me. StillLivin (and Shelly), you made me laugh! I would do the same for you! Crescita, your words remind me that I am the lucky one here. Thank you! Thelastknight, I try to remind myself how good I have things compared to many others. Some days it's easy, some not so much. DCKitty - his last girlfriend was crushed when he dumped her. But I can't warn them because they wouldn't believe me. I would just sound like the bitter ex wife.

I do struggle with my friends who are quite willing to trash talk him to me, but if he shows up it's all hugs and "hello there" to his face. I stand there thinking WTF?

Thank you for the hugs! I can feel them from here.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 458 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
lost4now
♀ Member
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, November 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too struggle with some of our friends continuing to smile and make small talk with STBXH!!! It makes me want to vomit! But I know what they must think of him (some have even told me what they think of him) and I wouldn't want to be him. I could not look at myself in the mirror everyday knowing how poorly I treated someone or walking away after small talk wondering what was being said about me behind my back!

Some days are more difficult than others. That's okay. Just know that the filling will pass. You are a great person. He will always be a cheater!!!!


BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
Topic Posts: 11

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